You Want To Hear This

Yeah!

2011-10-05T14:55:00.000-05:00

If you're happy and you know it...

2011-10-05T10:15:00.000-05:00

I cannot tell you how excited I am to be back here!

I didn’t realize how much I missed this. I’m a shit.

There’s nothing exciting going on around here today. I’m going to be out and about for most of today, I think, so that’s always a nice diversion.

Diversion.

I love that word. I love all of the connotations. I love the imaging.

I really love being one. And I am. If you’re reading this, I’m probably diverting you from what you’re supposed to be doing.

Like work. Or chores. Or bettering the planet.

Or something.

Ah! Who gives a fuck? We’re all about fun and music up in heeeeere!!

So, what do you want to hear?

Something fun – something peppy.

Something LIVE!

Ooooh – I’ve got it!

Please stand by

Janelle Monae - Tightrope

That's the stuff.

My darling,

2011-10-04T09:06:00.004-05:00

Hey!
How are you?

I know, it's been a long time. I can't apologize enough for disappearing. Please don't take it personally. I promise, it was me, not you.
I started this as a place to hang out and vent my frustrations. To bullshit about my day. To say all the things to you that I couldn’t in real life. To just talk about the songs I love.

But, it got away from me. It became more of a place that I was hiding things rather than a place to share things. I know that makes no sense, but it’s the way it was. I feel better about life now – I’ve found a balance for everything that I hope will allow me to follow through – if for no other reason than because it’s the only way we’re together anymore.

I missed you so much. I still do. It breaks my heart.

Not a day went by in the last year that I didn't think about you and wonder how you were.

Yeah – you.

In Utah, in Canada, in the UK, in Rio, in the Outback, in Denver, in Dallas – every single day. I thought about your music, your homes, your clocks, your lives, your shenanigans, you.

I hoped you were well, I hoped you were happy, I hoped you had everything you wanted.

I hoped you hadn’t forgotten about me.

I hoped that one day, I’d be back and you could forgive me.

And here I am, asking for forgiveness.

Asking you to come back to me. Come with me.

I’ll be better, this time.

I love you.

Always have. Always will.

The Scene Aesthetic - "Come What May"

Miss me?

2011-10-03T16:02:00.000-05:00

Yeah -
worst blogger in history!

There's been so much going on around here, though! I'm not going to try and fill you all in all at once. I'll just go day by day.

Today, though,I've got only love for you, darlings.

And, since I plan to be back for a while, or at least make a valiant attempt -

George Harrison - "Here Comes the Sun"

God, it feels good to be back.

35 Years

2010-11-10T08:00:00.004-06:00

Today marks the 35-year anniversary of the Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore carrier which sank in Lake Superior Nov. 10, 1975 during a storm. There has always been mystery around the tragedy that killed the 29 crew members, as no one knows why the ship sank.

Here is a video from the Great Lakes Shipwreck Museum that has the radio chatter between the coast guard and another ship on Lake Superior - the Arthur M. Anderson. Toward the end, you'll see the dive video from the wreck itself.

Gordon Lightfoot - The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

Of course, it's live - it's Live Wednesday.

something else

2010-11-08T12:38:00.000-06:00

Convo:
(middle of the conversation)
XO: What we heard was 'what kind of music do monkeys like?' the answer was 'rap' and none of us got it...
(interrupting me)
OP: That's a terrible joke. And awfully racist, don't you think?
XO: ohshit! hahahahaha! I didn't even THINK of that. I don't think anyone did.
OP: I did.
XO: Obviously. The problem is - that wasn't the joke. The joke was "what kind of music do MUMMIES like?"
OP: oh! still a shit joke. And I think I know a couple of black people who would agree that the monkey joke would be racist.
XO: yeah? ask them and see what they say.
OP: I don't think I will.

I love my life.

Typical Weekend

2010-11-08T11:26:00.000-06:00

I want you all to know something.
I love my weekends.

I cherish them.

I look forward to them every week.

Not because I don't have to come to work - I love coming to work.

No, it's because my weekends are like small wars waged against me and me alone and in which I am the only combatant.

Well, me and the powers that be.

Look at this - this was my plan for the weekend:
Friday night:
eat out
drink much
stay up late
watch a good movie.

Saturday:
sleep in
drink coffee (this is a big deal for me. more later.)
start cooking miscellany deliciousness
clean guest room
sweep
vacuum
laundry
catch up on DVR'd shows
make dinner
drink much
stay up late
watch another good movie

Sunday:
sleep in
grocery store
make breakfast
cook more
clean floors in the kitchen
nap
watch Cowboys win (I am the eternal optimist)
grill burgers for dinner
drink beer
go to bed early

Ladies and gentlemen, almost none of that happened.

Friday night, I felt like crap, so I was in bed at like... 9:00. After having watched 2012, which, while I LOVE John Cusack and will always watch anything he's in, is the movie that will. not. end. It's not bad, per se. Just fucking lllooonnnnggg. It should end at about the 90 minute mark, but no - it goes on for an ADDITIONAL 90 minutes. I shouldn't complain because 90% of the additional minutes are with the crush of my lifetime, so... whatever. I opted not to drink. I don't remember why now.

Saturday, I woke up at 5 - which is about the same time I get up most mornings. I did get to have coffee - and for the last seven years, I've been laboring under the idea that coffee will kill me, mainly because when I've tried to drink it during that time, I've had an anaphylactic reaction. Not now. I don't know what's changed, but coffee and I are at least on nodding terms with each other again. Woot. I started cooking some dessert-type things in preparation for the holidays. I like to test recipes before I offer them to my entirely-too-judgemental family. At any rate, it turned into a much bigger ordeal than it probably should have, and I spent most of my day in the kitchen. No cleaning, no catching up on crap television, and again - no drinking.

SUNDAY. Sunday was the day.
I did sleep in. Until my clock said 7:45, which was really 6:45 because of the stupid time change. I got up and went to the store. I got hit on at the grocery store in a very creepy way, and so spent a lot of time dodging around the aisles trying to avoid coming into contact with the guy again. When I got home, I asked the kiddo to take on the vacuuming part of the plan. There was some attempt at mutiny, but it was stifled by the threat of being sent outside to assist her father in raking leaves. I was in the kitchen putting things away when all of a sudden, there was - and I kid you not! - an explosion.

KA-BLAM!

The kid squealed, there was smoke everywhere, the dog was rocketing around and barking her idiot head off, and in the middle of all the dust and debris, lay my 10-year-old vacuum.

We still don't know what happened, but it did actually explode - I was still finding shrapnel last night. Luckilly, no one was hurt and no serious damage was done. There was a nick or two in my coffee table, and one of the leather chairs has a gouge in the side, but other than that, no big deal. The kid has an understandable fear of housework now, though. That could prove problematic if left alone.

At any rate, all of the things I had on the list to do on Sunday got pushed back so that I could do the required research and get out and buy a new upright. I'm not going to bore you with the details on why I went with something other than a Dyson, or even what I ended up with. Suffice to say, it took several hours of reading reviews and searching for dealers, and it sucked up almost all of my day. I did find one, it works incredibly well judging by the lack of effort it took to clean up from the death of the previous one, and it wasn't as expensive as I thought it would be. Yay.

Making a ridiculously long day short:
I burned the burgers.
Ruined the dessert-things I'd been working on for two days.
The Cowboys football team sucks more than my new vacuum.
I had no beer, and stayed up waaaay too late.

It's how my weekends go.
One of these days, I'll win.

Meanwhile:

Bee Gees - "You Win Again"

Next weekend is my time. I feel it.

Don't judge.

2010-11-05T08:13:00.000-05:00

I know it's been three weeks. Did you think I didn't know that? Really??

C'mon people. I'm well aware of my blog failures.

No excuses - just busy.

I talked to a... friend yesterday.
Wait.
You guys remember Ninja Turtle, right? That's who it was.

Well, much as I'd like to rub his stupid face in some of the shit he's got going on right now, the more compassionate side of me just felt... bad. I know - I was as surprised as you.

I don't want to go into a lot of detail about things, but even after everything he and I have been through, every awful thing he's done and said, for that matter, all the awful things *I* have done and said, he's still dear to me. There's some dark corner of my heart where he and that part of my life reside. I don't know why, and to tell you the truth, blogions, I don't think it's a good idea for me to think too much about it. Self-recognition is not something I'm interested in. Already fully aware of what a hateful person I am, thankyouverymuch. No need to examine it.

So, because he's still on the brain, and this song was running through my head:

Kenny Loggins - "This Is It"

I had to go back and make sure I hadn't used this somewhere else. Looks like I haven't, which, honestly, surprises me. I love this song. It applies to so many situations - obviously it's about relationships, but it could be about a job interview... if you really used your imagination.
Which I know my readers are good at doing.

Like imagining this blog has a decent blogger behind it... right??

Love you guys!
See you next week.

XOXO

Saving Grace

2010-10-13T09:49:00.000-05:00

I have pissed and moaned about all the shit that's going on around here, and I really need to knock it off. There is nothing at all that bad in my life right now.

Aside from the fact that it's 45 degrees in my office:

I'm not going to post a lot of crap today.
Just know that if you're reading this, you're special to me - in some way or another.

You're a friend, or a reader, or another human. And I adore each and every one of you.

For that, we get this:

The Beach Boys - "God Only Knows"

Enjoy your day!

In which my life has become a Nintendo game...

2010-10-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

Ugh.

I'm not kidding. My professional life has turned into something resembling Super Mario. The specific one I'm thinking of is the one that came with the Gamecube bundle back in the day. It's my favorite, and the only one I've ever come close to beating. If I remember correctly, it was the first one where Mario was free to move about the field. It wasn't just forward and backward.

That's the world I'm living in right now. It's bright and cheery, and I'm generally smiley, but I'm running around directionless because there is so much to do and every couple of hours, something unpleasant happens.

So - I told you guys that the idiot down the hall got shit-canned, right?
Which is fabulous, and while I know it's evil, I still can't help but be pleased. Hence the bright colors and smiley countenance.
The problem now is that yours truly now has to go through and figure out what the hell she was really up to down there. She was in charge of programming for groups, and what I'm finding is confusing the hell out of me.
Imagine a multi-colored XO running about and randomly kicking / punching / headbutting things to see what happens, although, instead of cool things like coins, 'shrooms, and one-ups, all I'm getting are goombas:

I find a likely looking email - which we'll think of as blocks for this story - and open it up expecting to find some revenue. Instead, what I find is that she's offered programs that we aren't generally able to fulfill. What I try to do is jump on it to get rid of it, but I'm in little mode and what actually happens is I die... er... get told that we have to find a way to make it happen.

Luckilly, I'm good at this, so I always have a couple of extra lives. Back in the game of my job again, and here I go to deal with what used to be her staff. I'm running along, trying to keep everything together, when I get a Chain-chomp :

The staff informs me that they were promised the following things:
pay increases
choice of scheduling
training for specific programs
optional shifts

You know you can't easily kill a chain chomp, but I get off easy on this one, and hand it over to BL, who laughs and says something along the lines of 'eat me'.
Have I told you guys how much I love her?
Really, really love her??

Then there's the Bowser / King Koopa of all of this:

There's no end in sight for me. The big bosses have told us that we are not going to be able to replace the position for the forseeable future. This means that in addition to the responsibilities I've picked up from the last THREE people who've left, my own job duties and the special projects I've been assigned, I'm now doing her work, too.

(yes, I realize this is from SNES, but it's the one I want. Deal. Nerds.)

Folks, my princess is not only in another castle, she's not even in the game anymore.

But!

Where there's Mario, there's cheat codes, one-ups, shortcuts, Toad, Luigi and Yoshi.

I can do this.

In honor of my idiocy:

Super Mario Bros. Medley - The Eminence Symphony Orchestra

Enjoy!!

Lemme 'splain -

2010-09-27T14:38:00.002-05:00

No, there is too much. Let me sum up:

My nemesis has been fired. She was dismissed for "complete failure to maintain a semblance of job description duties.

The collective IQ around this place went up about 100 points.

Unfortunately, I was saddled with her complete job. In addition to mine. Granted, I was already carrying the brunt of her load, but now there's more. I don't care. She's gone, I can deal.

The two other people who I could do without are talking about quitting in protest. I'm sure it won't happen as soon as they realize that jobs in our field are pretty thin on the ground.

We're moving T into the fired girl's position as soon as we clear it through the BIG bosses. This means I have to, yet again, interview for a receptionist. Again - I can deal.

My boss inadvertently sent me the salary details for the entire department. I immediately deleted it while she was standing here, and then proceeded to yank it out of my deleted items holding file and steal a peek at all of the information. I'm comfortable with it. I make good money for what I do.

My brother in law married his amazing girlfriend today. Yep - they went on their lunch breaks and got hitched. I am so pleased, I'm about to tinkle.

That being the case, today's song is just for them.

James Taylor - "How Sweet It Is"

Have a fabulous Monday, everyone!

lovelovelove!

Dinner Conversation

2010-09-26T22:49:00.000-05:00

My fantastic brother-in-law and his equally fantastic girlfriend came for dinner last night. Over salmon and roasted potatoes:

BIL: "This is really good."
XO: "thanks. It's super easy to make."
BIL: "We're getting married."
XO: "We assumed. When?"
BIL: "Tomorrow."
XO: ...
BIL: "well?"
XO: "HOLYSHITTHAT'SAMAZING!!! Wait... does your mother know?"
BIL: "yes"

Cue XO throwing arms around new sister in law, almost resulting in dislocation of shoulders.

It's a good day.

Conversations with Ian

2010-09-24T16:19:00.000-05:00

Exchange of texts with Ian:

I: I want a kiwi bird.
X: Well...Okay. I want a corgi.
I: You can buy those anywhere.
X: I thought we were making a wishlist.
I: Haha. I just think a kiwi bird would be cool. I'd name mine peter frampton.
X: Hahaha. Flawless. Wait. Not Peter Jackson?
I: Nope. Frampton
X: Hm. Well, your bird, your rules. Also, this convo is going on the blog.
I: I'm okay with that.

This is the life I lead, folks. And that's my bestie. <3

There is news.

2010-09-22T07:38:00.000-05:00

There is so MUCH news that it's going to require a couple of posts worth to get it all out.

I'm working on those.

Meanwhile -

T.Rex - "Bang a Gong (Get It On)"

Welcome back to the better blog, folks. We're going to have a lot more fun over here!

Also - ALAN! Since you were the only one (of 32 people who looked at that post!!) who actually posted, send me an email with your shipping info and I'll get your owlie-kins in the mail.

Love you guys!

Anniversary

2010-09-11T07:46:00.000-05:00

I took some time deciding whether or not I wanted to post something today. Those of you who have been with me for awhile know that I don’t post on the weekends, but it seemed like a good time to make an exception.

Like everyone else, I still remember where I was on the morning of 9/11/2001. Hubby had me sit down and write out exactly where I was and what I was doing so that Kiddo would have an idea of what the day was like. I wrote it all out before Halloween of that year, and we put it away with the newspapers from the next day. You know the ones – where every.single.picture was of the towers exploding. It’s been in the hopechest since then. K has never really asked much about it, and I don’t bring it up.

Before I go into this, I want to say a couple of things. First of all, I am still deeply affected by what happened on that day. Second, I wasn’t there. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know if there is some big government coverup or if it was exactly what it appeared to be. I’m not going to go into it. I don’t think it matters. Or, at least, not to me. The fact is, it happened. It was a tragedy and it was terrifying and overwhelming, and honestly, it still is.

That morning, I was at work in what we now refer to as “the real job”. I had a corporate position and I worked in a high-rise downtown. Our offices were on the 36th floor of 40. We didn’t have internet access or radios or any kind of news reporting, so we had no idea anything was going on until people started calling in. One woman’s mother called and said we were under attack. Someone else said it was World War III. Yet another said it was a movie being filmed that had freaked everyone out. Nobody really had any idea at that point. We were all just going along.

We were required to take a break at certain times each day. My break time was at 10:45. I smoked then, so every day, I’d take the elevators down to the plaza so I could have my smoke and then go back and work my day. It was that time, so the 10:45 people walked out and went downstairs. Of course, the only thing we were talking about was what was going on. Our building was across the street from a federal courthouse and on the other side of the block from the city’s federal building. Our own building held FBI offices, a CIA branch and several IRS offices.

While we were out smoking, people started pouring out of the buildings around us. There were SWAT teams and police and emergency personnel directing staff to waiting buses and cars and vans and getting them off the properties. Please remember that we were only outside for about 12 minutes and all of this is going on. It was scary. I had pretty much decided that I was going to try and get some calls out and get some information. I felt like I was surrounded by chaos and I needed to be grounded. Does that sound alarmist or overly dramatic? I’m sorry. I can’t think of the words I really want to use there, but that’s about as close as I can get.

We all went back upstairs – reluctantly, I assure you. And as we walked in, our VP was in the midst of dismissing everyone. At that time, it was becoming more clear that we were, for lack of a better term, indeed under some sort of attack and the company wanted to make sure we were out of downtown. I called my mother and asked her to go and pick up K at school. My little girl was in Kindergarten and I just knew that I was going to want her with me, regardless of what was going on.

Several people were going to go out to lunch and asked me to come with them. I remember thinking that it was unreasonable to want to be out in public. How could someone NOT want to get home immediately and hide under the bed? At any rate, I got into my car and raced to my mother’s house. At this point, I still had no idea what was going on. I hadn’t had access to the news or pictures or internet or anything. I knew that planes had crashed into the World Trade Center, but I couldn’t imagine what that looked like or anything. When I got to mom’s, the news was on, of course. They were replaying the footage of the first plane hitting the north tower. It was literally one of those times where you just fall over from the shock of it. I was standing in the kitchen and then I was sitting on the floor in the kitchen. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the screen. It was overwhelming.

Kiddo was in the playroom and while I wanted to grab her up and race to our own house, at the same time, I was terrified to leave the shelter of my mother’s house. I wanted to be safe, but I wanted to be in my own house with my child and my husband. I wanted to close my eyes and just wake up there. I didn’t want to be on the road, I didn’t want to be in public. I had no idea where the next disaster was going to strike. To add a little bit more information to the scant amount I’ve provided, I live in a big city. It was totally feasible that I could be in the center of another attack. In the end, I knew I would have to go home, and I just figured that I wasn’t going to be any safer in an hour or two than I was at around noon, so I went home.

I remember every second of that drive. There was no one on the roads. What normally took me about twenty minutes to get home only lasted about ten. The whole time, I'm whipping my head around trying to see everything that is going around all at once. I got home, got the K into her room and occupied, and planted my ass on the couch. I think I stayed there for hours. I remember clinging to H when he got home. We didn’t really talk, we just watched television. It was like we couldn’t get enough information. We wanted to know exactly what had happened and why and how someone could DARE?!? do something like this to us. US – the United States of America.

You just don’t attack the US. We’ve proved through history that we will eat your face for that shit. It’s the way we do things, for better or for worse. As an American, you feel this sense of entitlement, this sense of being above it all. 9/11 put us in our places, as I’m sure it was meant to do.

I don’t want to go into everything that happened after that. The wars, the recriminations, the conspiracy theories, the fundraisers and specials. I just wanted to share my own story. And now I have.

I appreciate you coming along on this one.

I promise that next week, we’ll get back to the ridiculousness that is my life.

Brightest Blessings.

DIY Drama - Part Three

2010-09-09T07:48:00.000-05:00

The wrap up.

For those of you who guessed that the color was heinous, you'd be correct.

The color came out some kind of sky-blue-y and purple-y.

By the time it all was said and done, we were so tired of thinking about it, we just left it. I'm exhausted just thinking about it right now.

We moved all the stuff back in and called it good.

Then, I went back in the room. I had left my tape measure in there and needed it.
This will be known as mistake number 3,409 from the weekend.

Why?

Because it resulted in me coming to the conclusion that the whole thing needed to be repainted.

And it will be.

This weekend.

For those of you have come along this far, here are the pictures:

The befores:

Can you see how pink that is? That's the reason we painted.

You can see where I was fingerpainting in that one.

Here we have the test walls. The gray on the right is the color that we initially picked out...holy shit! That was a week ago! You can see the color we settled on there at the bottom. Doesn't it look nice there?

Wait til you see this:

Do you see how purple that looks? It's even more so IRL.

That's all for now. Thanks for coming along on the weekend trip.

I'll post pictures of the completed room as soon as its complete. It won't be nearly as dramatic, I promise.

Love you guys!

What is it?

2010-09-08T12:08:00.000-05:00

I will, of course, tell you all exactly what the problem is tomorrow, possibly complete with pictures, but meanwhile - I'm curious. What do YOU think is the problem with the paint we've put up?

DIY Drama - Part Two

2010-09-08T09:18:00.000-05:00

When we left yesterday, no progress had been made on the project list for the weekend. It was Saturday morning, we had half a dozen paint samples and dreams of a completed guest room, new fans, steaks on the grill and discs two and three from season one of Eureka to watch.

Every project we have attempted in this house has become one GIANT issue. We haven't been able to do anything simple without it creating either major problems or lots and lots of extra work. Even when we've hired someone to come out and do the work for us, it's been a debacle.

ANYWAY -

We got back from HD, and I high-tailed it into the guest room to slather sample paint on the wall. I was determined to make a selection and get the room done! The three of us each took two samples to the one solid wall (no windows or doors) and painted 10-inch patches of color. Kiddo had a grey-blue and a pale green, Hubby had a beige and a pale blue, and I had a lavender and LIGHT gray. We began with such excitement. We just KNEW one of these colors was going to be the ONE.

We were wrong.

We let the colors dry and had a look. None of them were great. The pale green was my reigning favorite, but H didn't like it. He liked the pale blue, but I thought it was too blah. K liked the lavender, but H and I both thought it looked about like the pink we were trying to cover up. At this point, I'm about to lose my mind. I had convinced myself that this was going to be so easy. Pick a color, get it on the wall, go shopping, pick up a new comforter set and some curtains - voila - beautiful room suitable for overnight guests.

To save a lot of time, I'm going to lay this down in timeline form:

noon - back to HD for more samples and painter's tape
1:30 - decision to stop for the day because all of the colors on the wall are hideous.
2:00 - to the butcher to pick up steaks.
3:30 - called Sister 2 to have her bring over all of the samples that SHE had - invited for dinner.
4:00 - trip #4 to HD to pick up propane for the grill.
4:45 - heating up grill, slicing vegetables, putting potatoes in the oven.
6:00 - eating dinner and getting very, very drunk on plum wine.
7:30 - dominoes and more wine.
10:00 - S2 and her hubster leave.
10:08 - K, H and I are putting more samples on the wall. Sobering up.
11:00 - watching Eureka and waiting for paint to dry. Developing headache.
12:45 am - SUCCESS! We have a color. A pale silvery blue. We're all very excited.
1:30 am - after more Eureka, bed.

The next morning, Sunday, I'm back at HD - where they know me now. It's like Cheers when I walk in. The guys in the paint department are becoming my new BFF's, but I'm pretty sick of seeing them. I'm just grateful I live pretty close by. I'm telling you - if I lived another five minutes away, those damn walls would be gray.
No. Shit.
I pick up the color - Spring Bluebell - how lovely is that? and head back to the house. I walk in, change clothes and get to painting. I have the room pretty much done in about two hours.

And there's an issue with the paint. Again.

Meanwhile, H is trying to put up the fan in K's room.

Here's the problem with that:
Our house is amazing. It was built in the 70's when everything had some character and everything was raised, lowered, panelled and hardwired.
This included the fans.

The fans in the master bedroom and guest room had been replaced at some point in the last thirty years, but the one in Kiddo's room *(and the living room, but that's a story for another time) was still hardwired into the house. This means that where normally, you'd find a ceiling fan box-thingy in the ceiling, her fan is hanging from an attic joist and wired to the main house system.

What does that mean?

Well, my darling readers, this means that H is not going to be able to install a new ceiling fan in K's room without a licensed electrician and a hacksaw.
Solution?

Paint her ugly-ass 1975 fan.

I'm back to HD.
Where they didn't have the paint we needed.
Back to the house to discuss.
Back to HD to pick up a second choice.

Back to the house where I find H and K in the guest room looking at the paint on the walls.
Remember how I mentioned there was a problem?

Did you wonder what it was?

Find out tomorrow in our final installment.

XOXO

DIY Drama - Part One

2010-09-07T11:13:00.000-05:00

There is WAAAAY too much to tell you guys about the weekend that just passed, and I know you guys don't want to sit here and read for six hours, so we're going to do this in installments.

For those of you who have been with me since the old blog, you know that last summer, after much ridiculousness, we bought a house. You also know that we can't do anything in a normal way. At some point, I'll fill in everyone on the shenanigans that were us buying this damn place.
Meanwhile, on to our attempt to pull off a couple of very small, very simple projects at said house. It was a three-day weekend here, so we decided we'd try and do the following things:

paint the guest room
install two new ceiling fans
repair the broken tile in the kitchen
install shelves in the garage
grill steaks

There is nothing on this list that between the two of us (that would be Hubby and I) we haven't done a dozen times. Please remember as you're reading: H worked as a general contractor while putting himself through college and my entire family is blue-collar. I literally grew up on job sites and helping the guys in my family do things like run electricity, plumbing and drugs.

Wait.
Not that last one.
That never happened.

All that said, this should have been a fairly productive weekend. I'll give you three guesses how it really played out, and the first two don't count.

On Thursday night, in a fit of trying to be prepared, we went down to Home Depot (hereafter referred to as HD) to pick up paint and supplies. This would be the first of many, many trips over the course of four days. We picked out a fantastic lavender-gray color. It was all slate-y and stormy and I was smitten with it. All day Friday, I was fantasizing about how amazing the room was going to look. Friends were going to want to come over just to hang out in our guest room. I envisioned walls that created a space worthy of transcendental meditation accented with curtains that would billow with the slightest breeze. I could imagine the deepest feather duvet and pillows a-plenty. My mind saw candles on hand-crafted wall shelves and original art that would one day be worth millions of dollars. Family holidays would be held in the guest room. HGTV was going to do a spot solely on the color choice we had made. I was going to move into this room based on its complete awesomeness.

This, my friends is what is commonly known as 'getting the cart so far ahead of the horse, you might as well be time-traveling'.

I got off work early on Friday and raced home to immediately start the prep-process. Removing furniture, fixtures, small dogs, and taping every inch of space that was not going to be painted. By the time I was done with that, it was after 7 and I realized I should wait to start painting until after I had fed the family. I hurriedly made pizza and salad, threw it on the table, grabbed a beer and waltzed back into the guest room with roller in hand. I poured the paint into the pan and that's when I got my first inkling that things might not be as delightful as I had been imagining. For one, the color was a little bit darker than I remembered. For two, the color WAS A LOT DARKER! Okay - well, of course - this is wet paint in a pan. It looks nothing like it will on the wall.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I got that paint on the wall as fast as I could.

OH.
MY.
GOD.

This was sooo not what I imagined. I had pictured a purply-silvery glowing vision of loveliness. What I had was gray. DARK gray. No purple. Imagine the color that rubs off on your hands from the Sunday edition of The Times (whatever Times you want to imagine.) That nasty, crumbly gray. That was the color that was now on one wall of my beloved guest room. Oh. Shit. I had two gallons of this crap, and there was NO FUCKING WAY I was putting any more on anything other than, I don't know, the garage floor? Attic? Hell, it's the same color as the roof, right?

I sat in the floor and cried. No kidding, sat in the floor in my shorts and t-shirt, literally crying into my beer. I was completely inconsolable. H came in and looked at it, and in the manner of the amazing husband he is, tried to find a way for us to be able to rescue the situation.

H: "well, maybe after it dries it will be more what you had in mind."
X: whipping head up hopefully "you really think so?"
H: "uh..."
X: back to beer "I didn't think so, either."
H: "what about using it as an accent color?"
X: "an accent to what? a governmental coup?"
H: "you're right. this is awful."
X: sobbing again "I knooooo-ow!!!"

After about a half hour of being WAAAAY dramatic - even though I'm supposed to be Miss Drama-Free - we decided to leave it for the night and have a look the next day. If, after the paint dried, we decided it was completely unworkable - and I already knew that was going to be the case, we would get up in the morning, go to HD and pick up samples of paint! Yay! Small, inexpensive vials of paint that we could put on the wall and get a look at BEFORE spending an obscene amount of money on more paint that we weren't going to be able to use. It was genius! Why hadn't we done that before? Why did we think we could understand the nuances of wall color in a floruescent-ly lighted, concrete floored, one-step-removed-from-a-garage atmosphere?

How stupid could we be?

The answer: very.

The paint looked, if anything, worse the next morning.

Off to HD. We picked up a range of paint samples from what is commonly referred to as greige (gray / beige) to a slate-blue, to a really pretty light green. I was satisfied we would find what we wanted in the half-dozen tiny jars of color I was toting around.
While we were there, we went ahead and picked up two ceiling fans. One for the guest room and one for Kiddo's room. The fans in both rooms came from some place in the seventies that was so awful, no one even remembers them. Possibly around April 1975. The new ones were sleek and brushed-nickel-y and said something about five-minute installation. Of course, we weren't fooled by that kind of promise, but were hopeful about our prospects of actually getting them in before the weekend was out.

Oh, how young and naive we were on Saturday morning.
By Saturday night, we had made no progress

... except down the road to a bitter and acrimonious divorce.

Stay tuned for Part Two tomorrow!

No Photos.

2010-08-31T08:03:00.000-05:00

I really wish I could tell you guys where I work. What I get to do for a living is SOOO much cooler than anything you could imagine or derive from the scant information I've provided. Unfortunately, based on the giant stack of paper with the eensy print that I just agreed to and signed in blood, also known as _ _ _'s Media Policy, I cannot.

Essentially, ten pages that say I cannot disseminate any information about our facility, the staff, goings-on or photos.
No. Photos.

Forget that.

here's me at work:

Yep.

My feet on my desk.

AT. WORK!

Photo and all.

Now watch me lose my job.

I suppose if that happens, I'll simply have more time to hang around here, huh?

Maybe actually blog like a grown-up or something.

We'll have to see!

Don't Drink and Drama

2010-08-26T07:43:00.000-05:00

In my real life, I'm working on putting together several short stories to be published later this year. Some are just me getting to guest blog, but three or four are for magazine articles. Acutal paper magazines.

Yes, you're right.
It IS cool.

At any rate, in the evenings, I can usually be found in my living room with H and K watching tv or a movie while simultaneously typing like a fiend. The reason for this is that I have put off and put off working on these things and am now rapidly coming up on a couple of deadlines. (this would be one of the reasons the blog tends to get left behind periodically. while it is cathartic and I love you guys, you don't pay very well!) Last night was yet another night like that.

I probably should have prefaced this story with the following information: H is not feeling very well right now. It's the change in the weather - it affects all three of us, every year, but for some reason, H is getting the brunt of the load.
Poor guy.
At any rate, whenever he gets any kind of ear / nose / throat issue, he's a firm believer in self-medicating with selections from the bottle shop. (I actually don't disagree. It usually works for him, and he sleeps better and stays fairly mellow.) Last night, he was working on some combination of whiskey, tonic, honey and lemon. I'm not sure how many he'd had, but I do know that he was... well, he was feeling a little better, and had stopped coughing, but he was indeed - fairly lit.

Poor guy.

We'd TiVo'd "Swiss Family Robinson" and had it running while they ate dinner and I typed an article about the aquisition of a few of the animals currently in residence at the casa. I had the dog in my lap, along with my laptop and they were both battling for supremacy of the Thigh-dom, with the dog coming out slightly ahead. All was well in the world until H's phone rang.

Cue hell: please break loose now.

When the phone rang, the dog, who is pretty high strung already, shot out of my lap and began barking the shrill, wholly unpleasant way she does when she's upset. In jumping from my lap, she knocked my laptop to the carpet, and I was swearing. When the dog started barking, K gasped. Unfortunately, she gasped at the same time she had been taking a drink of water, and was now coughing her poor little lungs out, which set her cat off and who was now meow-ing to beat the band.

All of this in about 2 seconds.

It was H's mother on the phone, and all of the crazy plus continuing irritation with his mom, plus a decent intake of alcohol equalled an ass-chewing the likes of which my mother in law is not likely to forget anytime soon. There were accusations, recriminations, guilt trips and much shouting. (If you knew H, you'd know how serious that makes the situation. He doesn't shout until his fuse is GONE. At that point, it's best to hide under the bed until he gets back to sanity.)

K quickly left and went to her room where she shut the door and continued her coughing until she was better.
I scooped up the computer and went out on the back porch to continue writing while the tempest was a-brewing in my living room. The dog, very brilliantly, in my opinion, came with me, and found something truly interesting in the far corner of the yard. I have no idea what the cat did. I didn't see, and didn't stick around to find out.

A little bit later, H came out and ranted and raved at me for a little bit about whatever it was that had set him off about his mom calling. I just nodded and made soothing noises knowing that I'd have to hear about it again today when he went through the violently guilty phase of the thing.

And so I did. First thing this morning, he already knew he was going to have to call and apologize, and I had to hear it all again. I just nodded - carefully, this time, as I was putting on mascara at that moment - and made soothing noises.

I decided not to tell him that I'd already talked to his mother last night and explained the situation.
She just laughed.

Let him do what he needs to.

Non-musical High School Drama

2010-08-23T08:04:00.000-05:00

Today was K's first 'official' day of high school.

HIGH.SCHOOL.

How in the hell did that happen? I swear, yesterday was the first day of Kindergarten.

Ugh.

I did what I could to make sure she was ready, and in the end, really just irritated her.

The questions I asked:
Do you have your schedule?
Do you have your lunch?
Did you put on deodorant?
Do you know where your first class is?
Are you meeting your friends somewhere?
Where?
Who?
Who's that?
Do you have your phone?
Is it okay that I'm picking you up today? (first day of school tradition. Her aunties will pick her up the rest of the year most days.)
Where am I meeting you?
Are you going to pull your hair back?
Are you sure?

All I got in return were grunts and glares, so I assume that means a. she knows what she's doing and b. I should shut the hell up.

To anyone else who has kids that may or may not be going back to school today or soon-ish:

Good Luck.

xoxo

Happy Friday, friends!

2010-08-20T07:48:00.000-05:00

My office is (relatively) clean.
The filing cabinet has moved into a position that no longer hinders my escape in the event of a fire.
My digital frame is plugged in and currently showing pictures of a place we went on vacation and that I'd much rather be now.
My Starbucks cups have been recycled.
My inboxes are loaded and ready to be sorted.
My hanging files are actually hanging in the appropriate facility.
My mini-blinds are open, and I can actually see out the windows!
The monthly revenue and expense reports have been filed in their respective binders and put on the shelf.
My giant to-do list dry erase board is mounted, albeit oh-so-slightly crookedly, and filled with the ten thousand things I need to do before September.

What am I doing today, you ask?

FIELD TRIP!!

Boss Lady has designated today and next Friday as our Field Trip days.
We're visiting some facilities that work with our group to build better and more productive relationships and scout out how they're doing things.
In other words, we're going to blow off these two days and go to museums, zoos, parks, schools and game centers.

If only we had agreements with bars and rifle ranges, I'd be the happiest peep on the planet!!

Last weekend drama

2010-08-19T08:06:00.000-05:00

I thought I wasn't going to post about this for a couple of reasons:

1. I love my mother in law. I really do. She's an amazing woman and I'm lucky to have her around.
2. I don't want anyone to think anything differently.

However, she is fucking nuts. When Husband starts doing something crazy, I'm usually at a loss to understand what the hell is going on until I make the connection that he is borne of woman and the woman he is borne of is off her rocker. And peeking out from under the porch with a dead squirrel that she's attempting to use as a mascara wand while simultaneously insisting that American Express made a mistake and she in no way spent that much on crap for Kiddo in a singsong voice reminiscent of Julie Andrews in some strange mishmash of Mary Poppins and Alice Cooper.

yeah.

Last weekend, Husband, Kiddo and I took a little weekend trip to a town known for having more antique stores than citizens. It's about an hour north of where my in-laws live, so we told them we'd drop K by on our way home so she could spend a couple of days* before she goes back to school if they'd watch our pseudo-dog for the night.
*a couple of days here means exactly that - two days.
Of course, they'd be happy to! They love the dog, they love Kiddo, what could be better? Happy-happy-joy-joy!!

So, Friday afternoon, we make the two-and-a-half hour trip out to their house to drop off the Doggy-kins to hang out with her doggie cousins for the night and I have the following conversation with my MIL.

XO: Alright, we'll be back tomorrow, probably around lunch, to drop off K and pick up the mutt-lette.
MIL: Okay. When does she need to be home?
XO: Well, H has taken off Thursday and Friday for father / daughter pre-high-school hang out so they can go to the movies and do some other stuff, so, how about Wednesday?
MIL: How sweet!! (ed note: yeah, it's super cute and sweet...) Sure, I'll get her home before 5.
XO: great! I'll even make dinner so you can hang out and eat before driving back!
MIL: you're so sweet.

Cue my skipping around in a cute dress with pigtails and reveling in the joy that is approval from your mother in law!!

And off the three of us go to spend a day poking around in non-air-conditioned barns to see if there are any bits of someone else's shit that we just can't live without in our own home. We did pick up a few odds and ends, but nothing substantial. K picked up a couple of vinyl albums for a quarter and I bought her a funky three dollar pillbox hat that was too cute and cheap to leave alone in a dusty corner. H just walked around looking for all things that could be steampunked. Its becoming an obsession in the realm of XO's darling H. He spends a great deal of time googling images of anything that's been steampunked, electropunked or deco-punked. (I may have made up that last one.)

At any rate, we stayed in an old, supposedly haunted hotel, paid way too much for a sub-par breakfast, and then were on our way back to the in-laws to pick up the mongrel and drop off the offspring.

As soon as we walked in, I knew things were... awry.

After some really tense moments, Crazy-face MIL showed up in all of her bewildering glory.

MIL: So, how long do I get her this time?
XO: um... We talked about her coming home Wednesday afternoon - remember?
MIL: I love how my 'weeks' with K always get cut.
XO: um....
MIL: No, it's fine. I just never get told anything until the last minute.
XO: but...
MIL: I had plans, but no one thought to ask me what my plans were! We were going to go to _________ (insert city that is a five hour drive away) and spend a few days, but I guess we're not now.
XO: shooting terrified "HELP ME, DAMMIT" looks at H and FIL to no avail.
MIL: it's fine. whatever.
XO: well, we talked and I told you that H has taken off work to hang out with K before she goes back to school.
MIL: you never said any such thing.

can I tell you that, at this point, I was doubting my own sanity and wondering if the conversations we'd had over the last couple of weeks had all occurred in my own head ? I was scaredz. Big scaredz.

There was much discussion and pouting and carrying on until Kiddo in her teen wisdom, walks over to her grandmother and says:

"Knock it off. I'm going to be here for a few days and we can have a good time or you can be angry. It's up to you."

I was so proud of her.

Then MIL accused me of coaching K and turning everyone against her. (my FIL had spoken up briefly against the trip five hours away)

I picked up the dog and went and sat in the truck.
Eventually, H came out and told me all was well and that K would be home today, as planned.
He was pissed, I was pissed, the dog had been fed everything BUT the special food she has to eat and that I'd sent, so she was sick, and the two-and-a-half hour trip was miserable. We got home and both realized at about the same time that we should not have left K out there. I know MIL is fine now - and she is - I talked to her - but still.

We did decide that Kiddo is probably old enough now to stay home by herself. Maybe we'll cut back on trips to grandparents' houses next summer.

Highschool starts next week.

I'm. So. Excited.

No.

Really.

:::eye roll to death:::

Today, I am a ___________

2010-08-18T07:13:00.000-05:00

::< insert into blank >:: procrastinator.

Actually, this is most days. I am a firm believer in putting off today what I can do tomorrow. This is why I am still only half moved into my office from a month ago when I got moved to this one - that has two, count'em TWO windows!! It's a great office with an amazing river view and two open-able windows! Unfortunately, it's completely useless as an office because my shit from my OLD office is everywhere in here.

I kid you not. There is a giant four-foot long filing cabinet in the middle of the floor. I would literally need to scooch it over about eighteen inches to get it against a wall, but I always think, 'huh, I can do that later. Yeah. Next time I pass by, I'll just give it that little knee-nudge that it needs to put it over on that wall.' Inevitably, I just squoosh between it and my desk every time.

My visitor chairs are piled with files and my Santa Cruz hoodie. The half of my desk not occupied with monitor / keyboard / mouse is covered in papers, files, reports, my drawing pads, oil pastels, notebooks, my rubber boots, a pair of tennis shoes... wait... only one tennis shoe - the other one is peering out at me from under my desk. I know you can see where I'm going with this.

I.
NEED.
TO.
CLEAN.

I really do. I'm not going to. I'm going to find reasons to put it off again and again and again and just let this shit pile up until my new boss comes in and is no longer joking when she tells me something MUST be done before she calls the networks to see who wants to sponsor a hoarders episode based solely on my 12x15 office with two windows and a huge-ass filing cabinet in the middle. Did I mention that the filing cabinet is actually empty?
No?

Well, it is.

Know why?

BECAUSE ALL OF THE SHIT THAT GOES IN IT IS IN VARIOUS PLACES IN THE OFFICE!!

It's like a giant game of hide and seek around here. Most of it is in piles, though, that are easily located and rooted through just in time to find the one vital piece of paper I need before I am immediately shit-canned and told to ...
you got it...

clean out my office.

I'm going to take care of that today, folks.
I'll be back soon.

love you, you fabulously strange and wonderous darlings!

Early

2010-08-17T08:45:00.000-05:00

I've mentioned this before - and begged forgiveness - but I'm an early riser. Usually through no real decision of my own, my body just wakes up early- regardless of what time I've gone to bed. Somewhere between 4 and 6 am, my eyes open up and my brain kicks in. Periodically, I can get back to sleep if I lay there and force myself, but that will result in a killer headache if I lay there too long.

It's a giant pain in the ass, but, I've come to realize that it's a kind of blessing, too. When you get up that early, you have a lot of free time. Not free in the "I get to do whatever I want for three hours" way, but free in the "holy shit, there's no one around to bother me" way. I get more done in the first four hours of my day than I will manage to do in the remaining 12.

For instance, I got up at 4:30 today, went to the gym - a note here: this is the first time I've been to the gym in about a month. Since I started getting so sick, I've been taking it easy and staying the hell out of that place. Today, I felt like I might be able to muster enough energy to do a short workout, so I did. I'm wasted now, but at least it appears on the surface that I'm still serious about working out, even if I have decided it is the bane of my existence. - came home, had a shower, fed the dog, had some toast, checked in on Facebook - yes, I'm on Facebook, why? - checked my work email, answered stupid questions from people who send random emails at 1 in the stupid morning to make it look they're important, got dressed, got to work, rebuilt part of the website, checked hours for 40 staff members, wrapped up July's budget postings and had a cup of tea.

All before 8:00. I'm telling you. There's something to be said for waking up at the ass-crack of dawn.

Of course, there's something to be said for getting to sleep in, too. I've just forgotten what it is.

Have a good day, everyone!

A new day!

2010-08-16T13:17:00.000-05:00

Look!
It's a new post!

I wish I could promise you guys that I'd be here every day, but I can't. Life has gotten nine kinds of busy - and it's great - don't get me wrong! But I'd much rather be here talking to you guys than doing a lot of what I have to do now. At any rate, we'll take what we can get when we can spend the time together, right?

The rest is what it is.

I love that phrase. I've used it more in the last year than I think anyone should. However, it speaks volumes about everything.

All is quiet on the western front. There is work drama brewing, though.

The new boss has a goal to fire the useless members of the team. I am pleased with this. Yes, I realize it's quite possible that she finds ME useless, but I'm going to guess by the number of closed-door meetings she and I have had, I'm okay.

What she has in mind is to consolidate a couple of the positions. I managed to bring a ten-person staff down to a much more sensible 6-person staff, but she thinks we can go at least one more. Or maybe she just wanted to get rid of this one person and put someone useful there. We'll have to wait and see, I suppose. I can tell you that it's been wonderful having someone around who works!!

Alright, that's all you get for now. I have to go eat lunch...

nomnomnomnom

COMING SOON!!

2010-08-11T07:37:00.000-05:00

New, updated!

No.

Really!!

I mean it!

Wait... where are you going?

NO!!

Don't leave!!

If you go, everyone else will, too.

Seriously - just stick around.

The blog - it is a-changin'!

love you guys.

Thanks for your patience.

Holy Hell.

2010-07-21T07:01:00.000-05:00

I know you're tired of hearing this, but I do apologize.
I know I promised to update frequently, but I haven't been here in a week.
I know I am failing you as a blogger to her readers, but have hope!!

Let's have a rundown of the events of the last couple of weeks to catch everyone up to speed.

I'm sick. Have been for more than a year. Tired of it. I cry frequently.
New boss.
New front desk person.
New job description / responsibilities / paycheck (!)

Now, for what's been keeping me from being a good blogger -
The doctors have no idea what's wrong with me. I had some exploratory surgery last Thursday and they found nothing. This means that I now have to go and get the imaging that involves barium. That's next week. Meanwhile, I'm on a liquid diet. Lots of Vitamin Water and occasional milkshakes. It could be worse, I'm sure, but I really, really want something like a steak.
The new boss is actually letting me do my job!! This means that when I'm at work, I'm actually working! It's a change. Of course, I have always worked while here, but now it's a level of things getting done that has been heretofore unthinkable. It's great!! Also, they're changing my job description so that it actually reflects all of the things that I really do. Again, this means that I have to actually do those things all of the time, but, beginning in August (fingers crossed) it should also mean a significant pay increase. Woo-to-the-teh.
T is here off and on now. He's still working his other job, too, so we get him as available. It's been wonderful having him here. He's not only picking up on what we do, but how we do it, as well. Like, when I scream down the hall that one of my co-workers might or might not be the child of certain kind of woman, T doesn't bat an eye. He just chuckles and goes back to making my life easier. I miss R. I really do. She was fantastic, but T out-shines her like nobody else!!

Anyway. That's where I've been. I'm sorry about it and I'll try to do better. That's all I can do for you now.

I still love you though.
You know that, right?

Be good, kids.

xoxo

Happy!

2010-07-13T08:38:00.000-05:00

Just a short post today. I'm working on the interview post. Should be up tomorrow or Thursday.

So, the new guy, who I think I'm going to call 'T', accepted the position last night. Our HR director told us he whooped and got really excited. Can I just tell you how much that made my evening? I could just imagine T and his lovely wife literally dancing around the apartment and being so happy that he's coming to work for us.

I'm responsible for that. I made a decision and changed the lives of two people. I mean, I didn't just give them ten million dollars and put them on Easy Street for life, but I made two people very happy. It was nice.

This is how I feel about the whole thing:

2010-07-12T14:25:00.000-05:00

Happy Monday!

Couple of breaking news items:
#1 (in listing and of importance) I bought my turntable yesterday!! I found a wicked deal on Ebay - by the way, what did we do before Ebay? We had to go out and really hunt for things. We're going to lose all of our hunter / gatherer instincts in the next two generations, I swear. - and I bought it. I'm super stoked and now I'm torn as to what will be my first album to grace the new acquisition. I'm leaning toward Elton John's Grey Seal.

#2 (also of great import!) I have found someone to work the front desk! He's - YES, * HE* - is absolutely amazing. BL and I were both stunned by the time the interview was over. I was afraid I'd grossly misjudged him, but as soon as he left the office, BL turned to me and said "HIRE HIM!" So, the paperwork has been submitted and I'm waiting to see if he accepts. He seemed really keen to work here - who wouldn't?? - and I have great hopes!

At any rate, doing interviews last week made me think of a post I published at the old house, so I brought it over for some of my new friends to see:

Let's talk for just a moment about something that has been plaguing the entire planet.

Not Global Warming (although I'm sure we'll get to that at some point in this thing)

Not the industrial complex of the west

Not mass overpopulation (that COULD play into what we're going to speak on, though)

No - let's talk about common courtesy.

This should not be any new information for anyone who can read. If you can read this, I can probably assume you are not a Mowgli-raised-by-the-wolves-type and have had some kind of education.

Fair enough?

Good.

First of all - let's cover personal space. Now, in my world, this does not only cover the area immediately surrounding a person's physical body. Personal space involves someone's PERSONAL SPACE!

Use your head, people.

Someone else's room, purse, house, gym bag, office, lunchbag, car, closet or vagina DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU AND IS NOT AVAILABLE TO YOU UNLESS YOU ARE INVITED! Stay the fuck out. I don't care how close you think you are to someone, unless they say "Hey so-and-so, would you reach in there and grab my car keys?" then you need to rethink what you might be about to do. Further, an invitation once is not necesarily an open invite. Just because you were in there once does not mean you automatically have an "in" at any time. Ask before entering. It's solid advice. Heed it.

Second, lets discuss general phone etiquette. (this will cover many issues - bear with me)

If you are on a private call in a public place, make sure you are aware of your surroundings. Sitting in the conference room, with the door open and talking loudly about the smell of your "womanly discharge" is wholly inappropriate. I don't care if you ARE talking to your doctor. I am 20 feet down the hall and I can still hear you. I'm glad you're an open person, and really, I am too, but if you want *me* to know about what's going on "down there", give me warning, come and speak to me privately and don't spring that shit on me while I'm a.) on a business call with contacts in another part of the country and b.) eating my lunch.

Speaking of me being on the phone - if you walk into someone's office, work space, living room, bedroom, what-have-you and you see that they are on the phone, what do you think your best option is?

a.) start talking to them

b.) stand there and wait for them to finish the call

c.) walk away quickly or

d.) both a & b

If you chose 'd', then you probably work in my office.

The correct answer, folks, is c - walk away quickly. It's irritating as fuck when you stand there and stare at a person while they are on a call. Doesn't matter if you think the call concerns you or not. If it does, chances are you WILL hear about it at a later time. Again, this applies even if it's your best friend in the whole wide world. What's even more unfortunate is when the call is ABOUT you with the human resources manager in the middle of advising me on what to do about your asshatery and I have to sit there and pretend to talk about something else while the HR manager is asking if I'm okay.

Which brings me to the last of the phone issues. If you are on a call with someone, and the begin to talk about something that has nothing to do with what you WERE talking about, chances are that they can no longer carry on the conversation. (or they're having a stroke.) You need to ask if you need to let them go or just laugh and hang up. (If it was a stroke, they're not going to remember that you hung up on them, so it's still a good option.) Let them cover how they will. Sitting there and trying to get them to go back to what they were saying is pointless. They will probably just hang up on you. This is especially true if you are talking to me .

We'll cover basic Interview etiquette tomorrow or Wednesday.

love you all!

Drama spins me right round...

2010-07-09T08:13:00.000-05:00

My birthday is coming up.

It's not a big one, or really, anything very special at all. However, H asked me what I would like, and after I thought about all of the things I'd like to have, I settled on one.

A turntable.

Yes.

That means I asked for a record player.

I still have all of the vinyl I had when I was a kid and we didn't have CD's or MP3s. Hell, I still have 8-tracks somewhere in one of the boxes up in the attic. I'm quite sure they've melted by now, but they're there. I have some absolutely wonderful stuff still in the record box that has lived in the corner of whatever closet is mine for the last twenty years. I could never just commit to getting rid of them. I never knew why. I think it was just that I'd spent so much time listening to them and had amazing memories of my friends and I sitting around my fold-out stereo that I just wanted to hold on to them. Also, I'm an audiophile. That means I HAVE to have all kinds of ridiculous things to listen to music. It's something I don't really fuck around about.

I had been doing research on my own for a few months trying to puzzle out which one is going to work the best with all of the equipment I already have and still provide the highest quality sound. I expected to pay a couple of hundred dollars to get what I wanted. Evidently, I had no idea what I was looking at.

H asked what I wanted specifically, and so I gave him a list of what I had found that I thought would be appropriate. The next day, he came home from work and went immediately to the computer to bring up some items he and his buddies at work had found. (note here - H works as a consultant. This means he makes an obscene amount of money for what he has to do. Most of the people he works with are recent college grads with no families and way too much expendable income. Anytime we think about buying something, it's guaranteed that someone at work has already done the research and bought the best of whatever it is. H simply has to ask around.)

At any rate, what he came home with was... something else. Here I'd thought that higher-end one would cost around a thousand dollars. I could not have been more wrong. Higher-end turntables go for around FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS.

I neither joke nor jest.

Forty grand. That's almost my salary for a year.

He's still researching, but I think he agrees with me that one of the couple-hundred dollar ones will work wonderfully for us. We've got a great system already, we just need a quality player.

Now, I was off yesterday running to various doctors appointments (we'll talk about that very briefly in a moment.) and had about thirty minutes to kill, so I ran into the Half-Price Books store that was nearby. They sell used books, movies and music.

MUSIC.

CD's, tapes, and yes, vinyl.

Glory be.

In a gamble that I know eventually will pay off, if not for my birthday in a couple of weeks, I picked up ten or twelve albums. It was great. I haven't even looked at vinyl in about twenty years. It's always been there at HPB, but I've always walked past on my way to the literature or antique sections. All those glorious albums with the amazing artwork on the covers. I was in heaven. I spent so much time that I was almost late for my next appointment, but I made it - by the skin of my teeth. After that, I went home and inspected each one. Reverently taking each one out and looking again to make sure I hadn't missed some god-awful gouge or scratch somewhere on that inky black goodness. I wiped the dust off of the albums and the covers and added them to the collection in the closet.

Fingers crossed, the box will be moved to somewhere more suitable for the amazing-ness it contains. I think I've even found a shelf that will look perfect with all of the albums on it. Even matches the living room furniture.

If you're interested in what I got yesterday: Booker T and the MGs, The Police, Foreigner, Creedence Clearwater Revival, AC/DC, Henry Mancini, Fleetwood Mac, Little Feat, Little River Band and Simon and Garfunkel.

Now - for those of you following the health saga: I went and had some imaging done yesterday, and it was inconclusive. My GI guy is bringing me in for some endoscopic biopsies next week. This is essentially a small camera on a tube with a little grabby-thing that pulls parts of my gurtz out to see if it's anything bad. He says he's 75% sure it's ulcers, but because it's been going on so long, he wants to make damn sure we're not dealing with a more serious problem. You know, like Cancer.

Ugh.

Meanwhile, you guys have a great weekend!

Addiction Drama

2010-07-07T12:12:00.000-05:00

It's the Facebook.
I hit it hard.

Morning.
Noon.
Night.

I'm there. I want to know what people I haven't seen, talked to or even thought about in ten years or more are doing.

I don't Farmville or fight Mafia Wars or really, anything. I just lurk.

And read.

And comment.

But I do it all the time. At work, FB is up running behind my email, databases and web design programs. It's open right now. I can see what my friend C is doing. I haven't talked to her since junior high! I'm not kidding about this.
At home, in the kitchen, Facebook is my companion whilst I cook dinner. It might explain why I put sugar in the meatloaf the other night instead of salt. Luckily, it wasn't enough to really make any kind of difference.
I get updates sent to my phone. Driving to work, my phone must have chimed three or four times. I only look when I'm at stoplights. I draw the line at reckless endangerment.

It's one thing to screw up the meatloaf. It's another thing entirely to kill someone by not waiting four minutes to find out that my sister needs nails for her barn in Farmville.

One of the annoying things I've found, though, is that people do the whole Vague-booking thing. It usually looks like this:

Jenny Smith says "Why are things so bad all of the time? I'm ready to give up"

Which irritates the shit out of me. Especially when I know what's bothering them is that they missed an episode of Glee or misplaced their car keys for half an hour.

I prefer my brand of updates: "Fuck you for reading this. I mean, how dare you?"

All of that to say that today, something happened.

Something that could possibly change my life forever.

An event that will alter my patterns of thinking for the years to come.

My uber-boss friend-ed me.

And I clicked 'yes' before I thought about the repercussions.

Now, the person who decides whether I get a raise every year and whether or not I get to take vacation after Christmas can see all of the shenanigans I get up to.

And before you mention it, I can't un-friend them, because I think they might notice. I realize the chances are slim, but there's a huge "what-if" there. I can't do it.

I now, unbelievably, have to behave.

I'm so torn.

I'm also late for an interview for a new front desk lackey... er, staff member.
Talk to you guys tomorrow or Friday.

Love!

It's Today.

2010-07-06T07:55:00.000-05:00

Today is the first "official" day for the BL. You all know that I've gotten to work with her off and on for the last month. But, since she's only been in for a few hours on a couple of days, it's been - spotty.

Today's the day.

Can I tell you how excited I am? I mean, I've been with this department for three years now, and this is the first time we've had any kind of real management. AM is a nice guy, but has ZERO leadership skills. He'd much rather be buddies with everyone than make sure people are doing what they need to do. Which results in XO having to do a lot more work than they pay me for.

At any rate, much drama is about to ensue. I'm going to do my damnedest to stay out of it, but I'm in the absolute center of this particular three-ring circus. BL has already tagged me as her right-hand-man, and I'm the one who's been getting emails and phone calls from her. She's very involved. She always wants to know what's going on. And, since she's gotten set up with email, she sees a lot of the things that get bandied about by the folks here who haven't bothered to notice that her name is now on the mailing list for our department.

For instance, when C2 sent an email to the entire department making it known that she was not going to be responsible for X Program anymore - which is half of her job duty, XO was the one who got a phone call five minutes later from the BL, who was asking - literally - 'What the fuck?' C's 1, 2 and 3 have all made it a point to let everyone know in no uncertain terms that they will only be answering to AM. They've created a little alliance with the sole intention of bringing down the new boss. I'm not a-kiddin' or a-jestin'. They had a meeting. I was there. The statement was as follows: "We will continue to answer to AM as if BL is not even there." The problem with that, that they haven't found out about yet, is that AM is not going to be around much longer.
Also, BL is going to kick their respective asses.
I'm just going to sit back and watch. And blog about it, of course. If you guys want to start a pool over who gets shit-canned first, I'll be happy to provide more information so that you can make educated decisions.

On to something a little more serious and, yes, unfortunately, dramatic.

XO is sick, folks. This week marks the beginning of myriad tests and appointments with specialists to try and figure out the problem.
I was supposed to have an appointment with the imaging center today to have a sonogram done - no, I'm not preggers. You'd know if I was, because I would have been screaming hysterically, sobbing wildly and babbling incoherently. It would be ugly. The center called last night to let me know that due to power failure, I'm going to have to reschedule.
This was a vital appointment because, of the three specialists I have to see this week, two of them needed copies of the sonogram to proceed. Now I have to try and get in before my appointments on Thursday and Friday. The problem with THAT is I scheduled this appointment two weeks ago. Because I'm a serious case, they got me in as soon as humanly possible. And it was TWO WEEKS! The specialists are the same thing. They've crammed me in on schedules because everyone is trying to figure out what's wrong with yours truly.

I know, in my heart of hearts, the doctors are going to tell me to lay off the crap food and heavy booze and it will cure what ails me. But, there's that little voice in the back of my mind telling me 'oh, no, XO. It's way serious. They're going to tell you that its some painful, terminal disease and that there is absolutely nothing anyone can do."
Stupid voices.
Does anyone have any lithium they could loan me??
SO!

That's where we are. New boss, cancelled appointments and pending apocalypse.

The apocalypse is always pending, folks. This is not news. ;)

I'll keep you all posted.

Until tomorrow,

lovelovelove.

XO

Sorry, sorry, sorry!

2010-07-01T09:08:00.000-05:00

I know.
I am the world's worst blogger. I never post on any consistent basis, and when I do, it's all whine, whine, whine.

But!

It's going to change.

I swear!

My goal is to have three, if not five, completely awesome posts for you guys every week.

I'm currently fighting with some health issues, but I should have it all resolved, or at least under control, by next week.

Just stick around, guys, please.

The cheesy goodness.

Drama dieting

2010-06-28T15:56:00.000-05:00

I've bitched about this before, but I mention it again because it's pertinent:

I have ulcers.

Evidently, ulcers are caused by a bacterial infection that 90% of the population actually has at all times. Ever wonder why antibiotics do a number on your intestinal tract? Now you know.
Anyway- any kind of physical or mental stress can exacerbate the problem. So can other factors, like... illness or trips to Mexico or ... you know -
alchol.

Living the life I do, my poor tum is in a state all the time. However, it's developed a new wrinkle.
Previously, I would have a stomach ache until I ate something, and then would be better for a few hours.

NOW!!

Now, when I eat, and it doesn't matter what, I feel like I really would just be better off disemboweling myself with a slotted spoon.

It is pain like nothing else. Imagine swallowing a pint of gasoline then razor blades that will ignite into firey death-storms of destruction once they pass into your gurts. Yes, gurts.

And really, what is more awful than stomach problems? (**and that's compared to everyday issues. Obviously, terminal Cancer or parapalegia is worse...) I mean, it's so humiliating. Even if no one's around.

Well, since I now am not able to eat much more than a couple of Saltines, and those have to be washed down with about a gallon of water, I am well on my way to my ideal weight of ... much less than I weigh now. Hell, I'm on my way to the ideal weight of an eighteen-year-old Hollywood ingenue.

I just wish I could do it eating burgers and pizza followed by beer and vodka.

Where is the fairness in the world??

Creepy as fuck.

2010-06-24T14:04:00.000-05:00

Something occurred to me today.

It kind of spooked me, even though I've seen the movies and read the terrible email forwards.

I guess I've just never thought about it.

Somebody is always watching me.

Traffic cameras are on every corner of the areas I drive in.
I have a little tag that gets scanned when I go to the gym - cameras there, too.
There are cameras EVERYWHERE at my place of employment.
All of my shopping is done online, so that's easy to see.
I generally only use my credit card at the grocery store, so anyone who is interested and has acheived the bare minimum in hacking tutorials can tell you the last time I bought tampons or what brand of tomato soup I buy.

I guarantee - someone from the government is keeping an eye on this blog. Not for any other reason than I am who I am and married to the person I'm married to who has a family that is who they are.

I was on the treadmill this morning and it all hit me.
It.
Was.
Weird.

But, I'm over it. It's not like I'm doing anything untoward - right?

Also- I feel I need to apologize. The post from earlier in the week seemed rather 'poor, pitiful me' and overly dramatic.
For that, I'm sorry.

But not for the Paint job.
Those of you who came over from the old blog know how much I love MSPaint.

Maybe I'll post some of the old stuff.
We'll see.

Drama in Paint

2010-06-22T09:00:00.000-05:00

In the many years that I've been working here, I've never actively NOT wanted to come to work.
I mean, nobody WANTS to go to work. I don't care how much you love your job. Everyone would rather be doing something else. But, until this morning, I've never laid in bed trying to figure out how to get out of going in.

Now, the jobs I've had before, when I worked in the corporate world, those jobs had me lying in bed sobbing and calculating my vacation time - every single morning.

But never this one.

Until now.

You all know that I've got a new boss - she's been around and I'm enjoying having someone else be the grownup. However, she's still under contract at her old job and it requires her to be there instead of here most days. AM has taken it upon himself to try and milk every last ounce of power he has before the permanent arrival of the new boss. This means that when I say "hey - you really can't do that", he goes and does it anyway. Or, when I say - "hey, I need my staff here Monday through Friday", he reschedules them to work Tuesday through Saturday. If I tell the staff - "do not do ______", he comes along behind me and tells them they can. The people who are the least ... what is the word I want here? Least productive? Least worth a shit? Something. Those are the ones who get whatever they want. I keep thinking that if I stop doing anything that maybe I'll start getting my way about things.

It's exhausting.

Seriously - I'm almost on the verge of tears just thinking about it. For all intents and purposes, I've been running this department for two years. I don't want that job. I have never wanted that job. I'm happy to sit here in my office and do the things that I'm SUPPOSED to do. But it never works like that. I end up doing everyone else's job and when it comes to what is actually in my job description, I get thwarted at every turn.

This is what that looks like:

Hot.

2010-06-21T16:23:00.000-05:00

The system is actually blowing hot air into my office.

It's 85 degrees in here. It's 100 degrees outside.

I am officially hot and fucking bothered.

Can someone bring me a slurpee? With vodka?

STAT!

thanks.

Mama Drama

2010-06-19T08:23:00.000-05:00

Look! It's Saturday and here I am... wonders never cease.

Truth is, I've been sick, so I haven't been at work. And you all know how I love to blog while I should be working. That's why you haven't really heard from me. I apologize. Turns out I am over-stressed and exhausted.

Go figure.

I wanted to share the exchange I had with my mother on Tuesday of this week, though. First, a little background info, to put it all into context.

*If you're not already familiar, you might want to visit the Cast of Characters to see who's who.

My parents are divorced. Have been since I was a wee lass of about twelve. Both parents are re-married. My father to a whore and my mother to a wonderful man. Was the whore thing a little harsh? I'll explain it some other time. Someone just remind me.

Anyway - every year for Father's Day, my sisters, brothers and I all go to M & D's house to hang out with D, and we usually grill something yummy for lunch. There's no set plan - we all just get there around noon and stay until sometime around dinner when we all go home. It's been the same way for... I don't know - fifteen years? Since M & D got married, anyway.
If you're wondering where RD is on Father's Day, my sisters and I either meet up with him the Saturday before or the weekend after. Mostly because RD goes to see HIS father, who is a ridiculously pioius man and spends every moment we're around telling us all the reasons we're hellbound.
I stopped going to see that set of grandparents when they told my then four-year-old daughter that she was going to burn in hell because I didn't take her to church on Sundays. She had the screaming terrors for weeks.

I still owe them for that.

I digress.

Father's Day with D -
I called M on Tuesday and asked her what I needed to bring for lunch on Sunday, and this was the response I got:
M: "Ooooohhh! Are you going to grace us with your presence?"

W?
T?
F?

XO: "Um... mom? We're there every year. What's the deal?"
M: "Well, we hadn't heard from any of you, so we just assumed you were all too busy to come out to see your poor father."

Normally, this is where I become all apologetic and asking for forgiveness. I know this only feeds my mother's need for drama and grovelling, so I didn't do it.

XO: "Mom, cut the crap. You know good and well we're coming out. We never plan anything, we just come out. Now, what do I need to bring for lunch?"

silence

XO: "Mom?"
M: "Well, if you must know, D is going to see HIS father for Father's Day, since he didn't think you were coming."
XO: "Mother, we know good and well you got him worked up about this and convinced him we weren't coming because we hadn't called. Put him on the phone."

waiting

D: "Hey honey - what's going on?"
XO: "Dad - did M tell you that we weren't coming out?"
D: "She did say you were all busy this weekend. I understand - I'm going down to see Grandpa. It's okay."
*he did actually sound okay. It wasn't like when Mom says "it's okay" and it translates to "you'll be paying for this for at least the next five family get-togethers".
XO: "D, we were all planning on coming over on Sunday. Mom's just pissed because, for some reason, she decided that this year we needed to RSVP. Do you want me to come with to see Grandpa? I haven't been down in awhile, I'll even drive."
D: "No, honey, you come down at Christmas and all will be well."
XO: "Well, alright, but next weekend, we're cooking out at your house. k?"
D: "Deal. Love you, honey. Here's your mom."

M: "Well I hope you're happy."
XO: "Why?"
M: "You made me look like a liar to your dad."
XO: "Mom. You told him we were too busy to come for Father's Day. You didn't talk to any of us. You had no idea what we had going on. You DID lie. Or at least mislead him with information that was incorrect. Chill out. We're all coming next weekend to see him and cook out. Like. We. Always. Do."
M: "Fine. Is there anything else?"
XO: "I guess not."
M: "Bye."
click

Damn.

I was proud of myself for not giving into the grovelling that usually punctuates conversations with my mother, but I know I'll be hearing about the Great Father's Day Failure of 2010 for at least a year.

Anyone really need me to illustrate WHY I have ulcers and migraines?

Enjoy your weekends!
Love you...

Furry Drama Update

2010-06-14T09:31:00.000-05:00

Well, it turns out that H is a softie.

Smalldog will be staying. He has an appointment at the vet to get nine kinds of poked and prodded and to have his dangly bits removed.

I'm excited, K is really excited, H is ... well, he's amenable to the idea if not jumping for joy.

Smallerdog, however, is totally pissed. She doesn't understand who this interloper is and has zero interest in even being civil. Every time he gets near her, she barks and acts like he's trying to kill her.

The only time she doesn't care is at mealtimes. Then again, she doesn't really care about anything when food is involved.

So.

Since I'm trying to eliminate the drama in my life, adding another barely housetrained, possibly probelmatic member to the family is - OBVIOUSLY - the way to go, right?

Right?

Anyone?

Thanks to LittleVet for the breed ID. We were pretty sure about Yorkie, but it's nice to have a professional opinion!! :)

I need paper and a pencil

2010-06-10T07:58:00.000-05:00

I wish you could all appreciate how much thought goes into my posts.

Every single day, I think of witty and humorous posts that I could write. While at the gym, walking the dog, doing dishes - I'm always thinking of ways to brighten your days and make you feel better about yourselves by sharing the absolute bizarre-ness of my life.

I'll have a great idea and have a post half-written before a half hour is up.

And then I forget it all.

Some days, it's like a switch is flipped. Like this:

great idea
funny segue
cheesy picture
self-deprecating humor
::: * click * :::

wait.

What?

Where did it go?

Shit.

Other days it's more like this:

They'd like a story about the trip to the grocery store that involved lost mayonaise and a rental scooter. I should tell that one. I have to remember that the mayonaise turned up under the seat of the scooter, but it wasn't until she realized she'd forgotten the eggs...

oh. wait.

I need eggs next time I go to the store. And milk, bread, steak sauce, starch, dog food...

wait.

What?

Where did it go?

Shit.

And this happens
every.
single.
day.

You see why you should appreciate it?

love you guys anyway.

XO

Furry drama

2010-06-09T10:36:00.000-05:00

Before I get started - I'm a firm believer in fate. Things happen for a reason. If you want to say that God's in control, that's fine. I just know that SOMETHING has to be running the show. It can't all be randomness. That is entirely too depressing.

That being said -
You all know that I'm the kind of masochist that gets up at the ass crack of dawn to hit the gym.

Today, when the alarm went off at the god-awful hour of 4:30 - IN THE MORNING!- I lay in bed for a few minutes and tried to think of a good reason for not getting up to go. I almost decided that I could convince H that I was too tired and would make up for it later, when it occured to me that if I just got up and went, then I'd be done and wouldn't have to think about it again until tomorrow.

So.

I got up, got dressed and went to the gym. At this point, I'm running about five or ten minutes later than I normally am.

It was a strange morning in the gym. Today is Wednesday, so that means a pool day for me. I get in and do laps for about 45 minutes or an hour, get out, sit in the sauna for a bit, shower up, dress and head home. Normally, the pool area is all but deserted. There's an older man who does laps and I know that when we are going in the same direction, this 70-year old man is racing me. And usually winning.

For some reason, the pool already had people in it. I got in a lane, started my laps and watched as more people came in and were just waiting around giving those of us already in the pool the stinkeye.
This never happens.
Ever.

That being the case, and the fact that I was still feeling yesterday's arm workout, I decided to cut my swim short and sit in the sauna. I got out, dried off and went in. The sauna was not working. I don't know what was going on, but it was only about 80 degrees and very dry. I was perturbed, but just decided to be done at the gym. I showered up and started the drive home.
For some reason, I went in a direction that I never go. I think it had something to do with the light being red at the corner where I normally turn. As I'm driving along, I see what looks like an oppossum in the distance on the side of the road. It's not until it runs in front of my car that I realize it's a small dog.

This is a busy, busy road. I immediately stop to check it out and see if there's a collar or anything. The poor little thing is completely emaciated and desperate for attention. I pick him up, drop him in the cargo area of the car and head to the house. When we get there, H is getting ready to leave for work. He sees the little dog and just raises his eyebrows. I explain where I found the little guy and tell H that since I'm only working a half day today, I can take the dog to animal control later on.

He tells me not to take it in and just wait.

This is the man who said no to a dog for ten years before we found our idiot chihuahua - also on a busy road. We've recently discussed getting another dog to keep the one we have company and also because K's cat is very, very old and will be facing her mortality soon.

I'm interested to see how all of this will play out.

Meanwhile, here's the mongrel:

Today's Mantra

2010-06-04T08:08:00.000-05:00

I will not kill anyone.
I will smile and be calm.
I will remain mellow.
I will not be dramatic.

I might kill someone.
It might be brutal.
I might get away with it.

How long can I keep this up?

2010-06-03T10:03:00.000-05:00

I have to keep reminding myself that I'm making a ridiculous effort to keep things drama-free.

That means, when H asks me how my day was, instead of going on a tirade about the shitheel bitchface I work with, I say "oh, it was fine".

Things like this will give me an ulcer.

Also - you may have noticed the 'adult content' warning that my blog now has and the explicit content notice up there...

Did I get an email from an angry person who was offended by my swearing?

Damn right I did.

Want to see it?

Okie dokie. here it is, copied and pasted in all it's fine glory:

Dear Blogger,

I cam across your blog tonite and found myself isn shock and disbeleif at the amount of cursing and swearing you do. There is no warning on your blog that it is innapproprpriat. What if a children sees this? Parenets need to know what theyre kids R reading. You should put a warning on this because it is bad language. I am very dissapointed that you didn't have one.

in Christs good name,
_____________

So.
Yeah.

I'm torn between thinking this was actually a child and thinking that it was a barely literate adult or possibly someone who learned english very recently. Like, maybe last week.

However, he - yes, he - brings up a good point. Parents rarely pay any kind of attention to what their kids are doing on the interwebs, so I probably should do the decent thing and warn them off.

For the rest of you who lack the grace to be shocked by my casual swearing,

well...

cheers!

Mid-week slump

2010-06-02T12:36:00.000-05:00

I am in a total mood today.

And by 'mood', I mean 'state of murderous rage'.

I am a person who likes to help. Love it, as a matter of fact. LOVE. TO. HELP. In any way I can. It makes me feel good, keeps me from having to deal with my own, usually mundane, issues and gets things done. What's not to love?

What I don't love?

When "helping out" becomes "doing your damn job for you".

THAT, I have no interest in.

Which, because I do like to help, ends up being what happens.

The more I think about this, the pissier I'm getting. Let's drop it for now. I can come back to it tomorrow or Friday and fill you in on the details, but right now, I'm tempted to be WAAAAY dramatic and, since that's what I'm trying to avoid, we'll just take a time out.

What's new at DFY:
The new boss was here yesterday. Fantastic! I have great hopes for this-a one.

R is definitely leaving me. She's moving to another part of the facility, but still leaving me. I have inundated her with ridiculous amounts of guilt. I almost feel bad.

Almost.

I have finally gotten rid of a major source of drama in my life!
I had a friend who liked to play entirely too many games and was, for all intents and purposes, an emotional vampire. Unfortunately, this was someone that I absolutely adored and had an addiction to.

Try to get rid of the people in your life that you know are bad for you. It's almost as bad as quitting smoking. Believe me, I know. I've now done both! And, as hard as the break was, I feel so much better for it. Stronger, less drained, more appreciative of the people who AREN'T out to destroy my mental stability.

Like you fine folks.
Seriously.
If you're reading this, I am definitely appreciative of you.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading.

Thank you.

Things I don't understand

2010-05-28T07:51:00.000-05:00

That list is long and varied.

This particular item may be something that is specific to my geographic locale, but I'm putting it out there as something I just can't wrap my head around.

Over the last two years or so, I've started seeing more and more cars with decals that say "In Loving Memory of...".

on. the. car.
Usually in vinyl decal lettering on the back windows. Sometimes with letters missing so that it becomes 'In Loving Memo' - which always makes me chuckle...

I've always thought that the 'in loving memory of...' phrase was used on things that people were using to actually remind them of the deceased. You know, like headstones, or plaques. Something that says "hey - Joe was here, and he was a hell of a guy, and he would have wanted us to remember him by putting this big piece of granite here where he's buried." And it's something you see on benches at the park - "In Memory of Grandma Jean who used to come to this park to feed the pigeons."
So, I don't get why the guy in the 98 bondo-ed to Jesus Mustang has it in bright red writing over the entire back window. "In Loving Memory of Little D -- 78-09 -- We love you, man." (*this was the exact one I saw today.)

How much can you love someone if what you're remembering him with is a POS that is almost as dead as your buddy? Seriously.

I totally get that you want to do something 'in memory of...' . That part makes perfect sense. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't be able to do whatever the hell you want with your car. I'm just saying that I don't understand combining the two.

At all.

Maybe it is the incesant need for attention that some people have. Maybe they think that I'm behind them going "oh, that poor person...". I assure you, I am not. I'm just wondering why you're still in front of me.

What I do understand : Magic Shell on vanilla ice cream.

It's a three-day weekend!! Yay!! So, I'll be back after that. Meantime, there are burgers to be grilled, beer and bloggers to be drunk and thanks to be given to the Veterans that got us where we are today.

Wrath of K

2010-05-26T07:55:00.000-05:00

No, not Khan.
K, in this instance, is for "Kid".

I have a teenaged daughter.

Go ahead, laugh, cringe, snicker, pray for me - I'll wait.

...

Thanks.

Living with a teenaged girl is a lot like living with a poorly wired atom bomb. They both just sit there menacingly most of the time. Sometimes, all it takes is a sneeze or a cross-ways look to set either one off. And - they both tend to leak something radioactive that will absolutely ruin your day/week/etc...

Every day, when she's leaving school, she's supposed to call me and check in - just so I know that everything's okay. Towards the end of the day, I can feel my shoulders tensing up, my teeth start to clench and my head gets a vague ache right in the center.

Then the phone rings.

This is the moment of truth. When I say 'hello', who will be on the other end? The charming, wonderfully sweet and funny one, or the one who would rather sever my spinal cord with a spork than look at me twice?

Monday, I was standing in the office of one of my girlfriends and we were trying to puzzle out the logistics of moving 1200 people from one part of town to another when the call came.

XO: (braced for impact) Hello?
K: (disarmingly cheery) Hey mom!
XO: (confused but going with it) Hey, K. How was school?
K: Great! How was your day?

I want to take a moment here and say that, in fifteen years, I cannot remember her ever asking how my day was. Very strange.

XO: (warily) it's good. Do you have homework?
K: (still inexplicably bubbly) Yep! Not too much, though.
XO: (giving up on it) Why are you in such a good mood?
K: I don't know. I just am. It's a nice day.
XO: ...
XO: ...
K: Mom?
XO: Yeah?
K: You okay?
XO: I don't know. Get home and get your homework done. I'll be there in a little while.
K: okay! Love you!
XO: love you too. bye.

My girlfriend, who has a younger teen, just laughed and when I asked her why, she told me she has been having the same conversations almost verbatim with HER daughter. She said "you never know which one it's going to be, do you?"

No.

I never do.

Yesterday, the call went like this.

XO: Hello?
K: I'm calling.
XO: okay. How was your day?
K: fine.
XO: that's it? just fine?
K: YES MOM! JUST FINE! IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU OR DO YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE SOMETHING ELSE?
XO: first, don't yell at me. second, don't talk to me that way. third, are you okay?
K: I'm fine.

Can I tell you that I sound the exact same way when I'm furious with H about something and am saying the same thing?
She has learned well. I feel sorry for her future spouse. I feel sorry for me right now, too, but more sorry for whomever she's saying that to when she's not in fear of being grounded for life.

XO: alright, well, get home...
K: I KNOW! I'll do my homework.
XO: sigh...okay. I'll be there in a little bit.
K: fine. bye.

Jeez.

Brain overload

2010-05-25T14:51:00.000-05:00

Last night was one of those nights when I couldn't sleep simply because I couldn't quit thinking. There's much bruhaha going on around here. I'll fill you all in soon-ish.

J brought it to my attention that the comments option was not working for some reason. I've adjusted the coding and it looks like we're in business. I'll go back to a different layout tomorrow or so.

Until then...

Next caller, please...

2010-05-24T12:52:00.000-05:00

Happy Monday, everyone!

I'm sorry I've been so negligent in my posting. Can we blame an unreasonably hectic schedule?

Laziness, you say?

Yeah - that's probably a little more accurate. Even though I HAVE been busy. And funny you should mention it, too. Laziness has been much on my mind of late.

I work for a .... um... well, I work. We'll leave it at that in the interest of me getting to continue to do so. Periodically, I work answering the main phone lines, mainly because I like it and no one else seems to want to do it. It's a relaxing change of pace from what I do normally. It's a pretty big / popular / well-known institution, so we get about 40-50 calls every hour. Now, only about 20 of those actually need to speak with someone. When you call us, you get a recorded message with all of our vital info - business hours, fees, web address, etc. Most people hear the information they need and hang up or go straight to our website.

These are the people that I like to call "actives".

Then there are the grapes. (I don't know why I've labeled these people grapes. Maybe because they just hang around...?) These are the people that refuse to put forth any reasonable effort to obtain the information they need without making someone else do it. For instance, they have to listen to a 30-second message that will answer almost any question, but instead, they mentally check out and wait until they can ask someone a question that would have been answered immediately if they'd only paid attention. Those almost aren't that bad. I really hate listening to recordings, too, but I do. When needed. Since the advent of the internet, I tend to try that avenue to get information before I ever even pick up the phone.

The internet has created a whole new species of callers, that I've labeled "verifiers". These are the people that call and read the website to me, verbatim.
XO: "Thank you for calling..."
V1: "it says on your website that ______" (where '_____' is actually a paragraph of information that they have just quoted to me in a monotone voice that starts to sound like the wah-wah-wah of Charlie Brown's teacher after the first few words.)
XO: "yes."
V1: "it also says _______, _______, and _______." (This is my favorite part. It's where I try to get a word in to let them know that all of the information is accurate before they spend five minutes reading me information that I actually wrote.)
XO: "yes...?"
V1: "okay. I just wanted to make sure."
XO: "have a nice day."

These are not some strange chunks of information like 'this facility is periodically inhabited by the ghost of Vlad and you will be susceptible to swarms of flying orange peels upon arrival.' These are statements like 'we are real' or 'today is Monday'. Very basic information.

Then, there are 'the lost'.
These are people who a. lost and b. angry.
Our facility is a HUGE place visible from the highway with ten million signs pointing in the same direction all saying 'GO THIS WAY'. The Lost will call from a block away and want directions. Not only that, they will want me to stay on the phone with them until they have parked their car in our lot. It's no good trying to tell them that they can't miss it. They don't beleive you. Even when they're looking at the main sign, they're asking if they're going the right way. One time, I tried to explain that I had three other calls waiting and that since they were actually in sight of our gates I should get off the phone with them. He became irate and demanded to speak to my boss. Since I don't really have 'a boss', I sent him to one of the customer service people who explained that we had an overabundance of calls and that it was unfair for him to expect staff to wait while he parked his car.
He didn't understand why it would be a problem.
They never do.

grumblegrumblegrumble

2010-05-19T13:36:00.000-05:00

I'm in a super pissy mood today.

I'm sure it's PMS, but I can't be certain.

It could also be that AM is driving me to drink - ha, yes, I know, it's a short trip, H is having serious problems with his jaw that are making him super cranky, K has lost her teenaged mind, The Sisters are all at odds with one another and somehow, I'm caught in the middle, R has decided to take another job - still with our facility, but no longer with me, and to top it all off...

I got a speeding ticket this morning.

I won't tell you how fast I was going, but I will tell you that I was running late for work and just wasn't paying attention. What's even worse is that I had just zoomed around someone who was doing the speed limit and cursing their name for being in my way. I had also been doing that since I'd gotten on the highway.

Karma may be a bitch, but instant Karma is her meaner, tougher, more embarassing older sister.

The officer was really nice about it. The whole episode from the time I spotted him, realized I was totally fucked, got pulled over, handed him my license and insurance, signed on the line and drove away took less than five minutes.

I think I also have a cold.

Le sigh.

In the interest of relaxing and being calm, here's a picture of sheep.

I don't know - it just seemed like what I wanted to see.

From the weekend...

2010-05-18T08:22:00.000-05:00

I have sisters. You know this.
What I didn't include in the "Who's Who" is additional information about Sister 1.

Everyone has 'that person' in the family. You know - the person whose call you HAVE to take for fear that THIS time, they may actually be dead and / or dying? Or possibly in jail. That's Sister 1.

Sunday afternoon, I was in my kitchen working on some lovely things for lunch when my phone rang. No, not Sister 1 - it was S2.
Me: "Hey kiddo, what's up?"
S2: "Um... have you talked to S1 in the last couple of days?"
Me: "No. I know she was supposed to go to breakfast with us this morning, but she never shows up for those anyway. *(about once a month, the Sisters all get together with our dad and go have breakfast at this little restaurant we like.) What's going on?"\
S2: "Some man just called. He has her phone."
Me: "WHAT?!"
S2: "Yeah. He said he found it in the middle of the street. I was the first person listed in her contacts, so he called to let me know he has it. We're going to meet him in a little while and go pick it up."
Me: "Wow. Has anyone talked to her?"
S2: "Well, since she doesn't have her phone, that would be kind of hard."

duh. I hate it when I pull the stupid card from the deck like that.

Me: "Well, keep me posted."
S2: "Will do."

Cue me spending a couple of hours trying to locate all of my sister's friends. I called her boyfriend *(how awkward was that? He used to be MY boyfriend...) He let me know that she never came home the night before. All of the girlfriends I could think of hadn't seen or talked to her either. By this time, I was getting extremely nervous.

After a couple of hours, S2 called to let me know a couple of things:

One: they had gotten the phone. Evidently, it was a nice young black man who wouldn't even take the money my sister tried to offer him as a reward.

Two: they had located S1. She stated that there was a bar fight and while she was watching someone ran in and stole all of her stuff. Ho-kay...

Three: in trying to piece together where S1 was, my BIL decided to check her text messages to see what the most recent one was. The last one she sent was to her EX-boyfriend - whom we all abhor. Also, it wasn't so much a text as it was a picture.

Yeah.

THAT kind of picture.

To her EX-boyfriend.

My BIL just kind of yelped and when S2 asked him what was wrong, he just held up the phone for her to see. She informed me later that she was afraid she would need to remove her retinas completely.

This is the life I lead, folks.
Be jealous.
<3

Ugh

2010-05-12T12:40:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks. I've got to quit doing the "Day _ of 365 thing. It was getting way too depressing looking at those numbers. I'll label big days - like 100 and 365.

Meanwhile - some updates:

The yard is done. Not well, but done. I know that no one cares but me, but it's sucking the ever-loving life out of me. That's why you're here, yes? To hear about the painfully boring shit that happens to me on a daily basis and how I'm trying not to lose my damn mind at every turn? No?

well... alright then.

My friend J is amazing. He sent me a rather large box of some rather delicious snacks from Canada this week. Actually, he sent them some time ago. I just got them this week. We've evidently kicked off a snack-trading-pen-pal-frenzy! How cool!

I finally closed the "other blog".

I'm going to the dentist in about an hour. Why? Is anything wrong? Nooooo.

My insurance company does not beleive that I had a root canal in November.
NOVEMBER.

They want additional x-rays from my endodontist, so I'm going in to be exposed to additional radiation.

Yay!!

I need to go and work for a little while.
Talk among yourselves.

Day 20 / 365

2010-05-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

And I feel like shit.

I'm sick and haven't slept and got called into work obscenely early because AM decided he's taking the week off.

He decided this yesterday.

That was Sunday.

I may choke people.

News about Mother's Day weekend / work debacle / etc later this week.

love.

MD2K10

2010-05-09T07:22:00.000-05:00

For all of you who are moms -

hang in there.

Happy Mother's Day!

Day something of something

2010-05-07T13:22:00.000-05:00

I overdid at the gym this morning.
It literally hurts to type.

I also have a headache.

Enjoy your weekend, all!

Day 16 / 365

2010-05-06T10:01:00.000-05:00

I've given up on the yard. Somone just pray that eventually they'll be done and it will at least be livable.

Meanwhile -
I'm in education. Specifically, informal education, which just means that I don't work in an actual state-funded or private school. I, of course, can't tell you where I work - mainly because I love my job and don't want to lose it. At any rate, periodically, our staff is asked to go out into the wide world and participate in events at different schools in and around our area. Yesterday, R and I got the opportunity to judge a science fair. This is the first time R had been able to participate and my ... I don't know. Fifteenth? Maybe.

Heretofore, science fairs have not been my favorite. I like referreeing pet days and speaking at career day. Science fairs are usually boring as hell.
NOT.
THIS.
TIME!

R and I got there and were asked to make a final determination on sixth grade individual projects and then judge the fifth grade group projects and choose a first, second and third place. The sixth grade projects had been judged, but they couldn't come to a consensus on who the winner was. It took us about twenty minutes to have a look and make our decision. One of the projects involved the student cooking potatoes and seeing which method held heat the longest. Why? Because he was always late for dinner. Turns out that baking them holds heat the least amount of time, microwaving next, and boiling them keeps them at a nice internal temperature of 135 degrees for about twenty minutes. He didn't win, but it was at least an interesting experiment.

On to the fifth grade group projects. The staff at the school asked us not to speak to eachother about the projects so that we were each judging on our own. So R started on one end of the hallway and I worked the other side. Going along, it was typical fare. Seeds, dirt, plastic cups, coke cans - the works.

And then.

Then I found it.

THE project.

I'm going to tell you a few things in advance -
1. this project didn't win.
2. it was two fifth grade girls involved.
3. it had a bad ending.

I'm not going to give you ALL the details - just an overview and WHY I loved it so.
The main project was geared toward seeing whether earthworms preferred iceberg lettuce, romaine lettuce or spinach.
There were thirty worms in thirty plastic cups with a sprinkling of dirt and a sample of each leafy green.

So far, so good, right?

Sure.

The presentation board was great - it had lots of pictures and graphs and little rubber bait worms all over the astro-turf they'd used to cover everything. What I was fascinated with was "The Log".
The student were required to submit their research log along with the actual presentation. It was supposed to be there to allow the judges to see how much effort went into the research and experiments. Most of them were pretty cut and dried. This one looked to be the same until I started noticing "Gabby's" (names have, of course, been changed) footnotes. Every day, this young girl had noted everything that was going on with the worms. Not only that, she was noting what was going on (or not) with her partner.

verbatim as much as I can recall - misspellings included:
Day 6: the worms arn't eating. I sprayd them with water and they got squirmy. No sign of "Carly"
Day 8: worms still not eating. cups are muddy. Haven't heard from Carly.
Day 12: the spinich is moldy
Day 15: the spinech is runny. Carly won't call.
Day 18: spinach smells like my cat's breath and you know that stinks to hi heavens.
Day 21: Carly's worms are DEAD.

Just like that. DEAD. I stood in the hallway with tears streaming down my face trying not to let the screams of laughter out.

Day 25: all the worms are dead. its raining. i will get more under the rocks today when they come up for air.
Day26: mom sais no more worms.

The conclusion was that the worms would eat the iceberg lettuce and that was about it.

I have no idea where "Carly" was. I hope she was okay. Also - to whatever God of worms - I'm sorry for your loss.

Just like that.

Day 15 / 365

2010-05-05T09:29:00.000-05:00

Where I fill you in on what it means to "do the yard" and how your thoughts and your landscapers are probably two different things.

So!
When we left yesterday, I stopped just short of sharing the blood and guts of the debacle that has become our lawn. The more I thought about it, the more I really wanted to show you all pictures. However, because I've taken great pains to keep myself a bit of a secret, I'm not going to. I'm sure somewhere, Google has a program that can recognize pictures of houses and can compare it to their Street View and some scary stalker will show up at my door. For now, we'll just press on.

If you remember, the plan was to re-do the beds in the front yard, put in a retaining wall in the back yard, level and sod both, put in a sprinkler system and build a mailbox. To yesterday, all that was done and satisfactory was the mailbox.

In order, here were the MAJOR issues we've had:

The contractors never showed up. They were supposed to begin work in March, but just started two weeks ago.
The mailbox was intended to be brick. They built it twice with rock and twice with brick. The final product is lovely, but damn. FOUR TIMES. Really?
The beds were supposed to have been surrounded with a level stone wall that curved SLIGHTLY away from the front. What we got was a hilly mess that resembled nothing less than a snake on mescaline. It twists and turns in thirty different ways.
The retaining wall was built and it was perfect. Except for the fact that the drains needed to keep the water moving were not put in and there were no stairs. It was going to be a four-foot jump if I needed to get to the lower part of my back yard.

You should all know - these were things we had discussed - at length - with our landscape guy. It wasn't like we changed our minds mid-way through the project.

So now, day 12 of The Yard Odyssey, where are we?

Well, the mailbox is done. Yay.
The front beds are at least level if not still wildly serpentine in shape.
The retaining wall is done. Kind of. It's built - they just have to finish putting back some of the dirt. I like to think that they'll take care of that during the leveling / sodding (snicker) process.
We still don't have a sprinkler system, a level lawn or grass and to top it all off -
we can't get the contractor on the phone.

We're hoping it's because he's super busy and not because he's blowing us off. Not that it matters if he is -

we haven't paid him.

I had no idea...

2010-05-04T10:52:00.000-05:00

Yes, I AM this big a nerd. Suck it up. <3

May 4

May 4 is called Star Wars Day (also sometimes known as Luke Skywalker Day) because of a pun on the similarity between "May the 4th be with you" and "May the Force be with you", a phrase often spoken in the Star Wars movies.

In 2005 German news TV channel N24 interviewed George Lucas and asked him to say his famous sentence, "May the Force be with you." The translator simultaneously translated to German: "Am 4. Mai sind wir bei Ihnen". (We are with you on May 4). This was captured by comedy show TV Total and aired on May 18, 2005.

This is fer rillz.

Woot.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

- Darth Vader

Where are we... Day 14? Really?

2010-05-04T10:42:00.000-05:00

So.
Two weeks.

Already a complete failure at the whole Drama-Free thing. Maybe we should just call it 'An Attempt to MINIMIZE the Drama'?

Alright, so - I haven't gone into all of the things that are really going on around here. There is ever so much more. I want to talk about just one. In addition to the regular shenanigans going on - Sisters, work, soon-to-be-chained-to-her-desk K - we are also -

...

...wait for it

...

having the yard done.

Yeah.

Before I tell you about that, let me tell you about a little dream I have. A dream called "A Decent Looking Yard That Does Not Fall Into the Neighbor's Pool or Require Me To Drag Hoses Hither and Yon". I realize that it sounds complicated, but I assure you- it's really not. When we bought this house a year ago, we knew there was going to need to be some major renovations made to the landscape. We live on the side of a hill, so our backyard flushes down the hill into the yard of the people behind us, and our front yard is rather a morass of mud when it rains in any amount and has very little grass (read: one sketchy little patch in the corner) at any time.

Solutions?

*Rebuild the front beds to a.) make them appear to belong in the neighborhood and not in a trailer park and b.) keep the water from collecting and aquatic lifeforms from colonizing.

*Install a french drain to also keep our walkway from being confused for northerly parts of the Everglades.

*Install a retaining wall to keep our backyard in our backyardyard and hopefully prevent our master suite from becoming the guest house for the folks who live around the corner and down the hill.

*Have the yard levelled and completely sodded. (is sodded an actual word? Our contractor keeps using it, but I always snicker a little when he does.)

*Install a sprinkler system to keep said sod alive.

And while they were at it, we needed a new mailbox.

Alright, so there you have the plan. If you know ANYTHING about landscaping, you realize that none of this is difficult - just requires someone to come out and, you know - DO SOMETHING!

We found a company that has done some work in our neighborhood that is simply smashing. We contacted them in February and had them come out and give us an idea of what really needed to be done and an estimate on what it would cost to get done. They gave us a great estimate, were fantastically friendly and seemed to really know what they were about.
So far, so good, yes?
Yes.

Initially, they were gung-ho to get going and so were we. We had a two week schedule to get everything done. Walls, sprinklers, levelling, drains, mailbox, the works. They were going to begin in March and we would be done by April.

It is now May the 4th and the only thing that is actually complete is the mailbox. And THAT had to be rebuilt four times.

In case you didn't catch that, let me repeat - FOUR TIMES!

Unfortunately, we decided that there was no way they could screw up the plans for what we asked for. It was some pretty basic rock work. Therefore, we opted NOT to hover around the house keeping an eye on things.

This will be henceforth known as mistake number 76,315.

All the gory details tomorrow....

Day 13 / 365 - oooh! Lucky 13!

2010-05-03T15:37:00.000-05:00

Girls, this is where you start to hate me a little bit. And I apologize, I really, really do.

However, the fact of the matter is this:

I LOVE going to the gym.

LOVE IT.

I love working out and I love doing it at (gulp!) five o'clock in the morning.

Yeah.

Now - before you completely disregard this whole project because I'm a masochist, let me 'splain.

1 - I have to go to the gym. I have mucho health issues that require me to be at the gym. So, it's either love it or lump it.
2 - Since that's the case, I decided to live it up and try and enjoy it since I had to be there anyway.
3 - I am not really a 'people person' regardless of what everyone may think.
4 - since that's ALSO the case, I discovered that being at the gym in the wee hours of the morning - before the sun even comes up - is the best time to do it.
5 - I now know that, no matter what happens for the rest of today, I don't HAVE to go back to the gym. I did my hour+, and can go home after work, kick off my shoes and relax.

Or go back.

Don't hate me.

Please.

I can't help it.

If you knew me and knew what I looked like, you probably wouldn't be quite so hard on me.

Gym stories will be a-comin'! And they're grrrr-eeaat!

<3

Days 11 & 12 / 365

2010-05-01T18:41:00.000-05:00

For those of you who are new to my blogging world - which is going to be most of you, I don't blog on the weekends.

Usually.

Periodically, the urge to ramble about nonsensical things that only I care about will come upon me, and I'll jump on to say something stupid like 'digital broadcasting makes me quake'.* But, most of the time, I just avoid the house pc's as much as possible.

See you guys Monday.
Lucky 13.

*those words were pulled from random articles on my desk right now. I just glanced down and around until something stuck. go me.

Day 10 / 365

2010-04-30T10:14:00.000-05:00

I swear! I really am NOT going to let this thing turn into a blog where I just post random shit from youtube.

However!

C1 made a pre-emptive strike against severe seething-ness this morning. I got in early and already had this message in my email:

XOXO - (obviously, he used my real name)

Because I know what kind of day you're going to have, and some of it will be my fault, I thought I'd go ahead and give you the best part of your whole day now.
First thing.
Before the shit really starts.

See this.
See it now:

[link]

c1 (obviously, he used his real name)

Ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere - you will need five minutes and volume control. Make sure no small children are around.
Enjoy.

AND! Because I didn't believe this was real:
The Arkansas Times Article

If the rest of the day goes as completely awry as I think it might, I like knowing that I had at least five really good minutes this morning.

Day 9 / 365

2010-04-29T11:05:00.000-05:00

Periodically, the day just gets to be too much.
I quit all attempts at accomplishing anything, close my office door and hit youtube.

C1 knew today was rapidly dissolving into one of those days.
This was the email I got:

Oi, woman! Quit fuming in there. You'll suffocate. And then who will I harass?
Watch this~

[insert the link he sent here]

This is the video he sent:

Seriously.

2010-04-29T09:08:00.000-05:00

I realize that it's nine o'clock in the morning.

However, there is very little I would not do for a cupcake right now. I'm talking about one of those bakery-style jobs with more icing than actual cake. The ones that make your teeth hurt just looking at them. In strawberry. Maybe with a little plastic heart on it.

You know what's NOT going to tide me over? This apple that I'm having like a good girl.

Not even a little bit.

Jeezly crow.

Day 8 / 365

2010-04-28T13:33:00.000-05:00

I don't know where to begin with the chicanery that was going on today.

Let's try work.

I, of course, can't tell you where I work, or really, even what kind of work I do. Suffice to say that I work in the education field. I love what I do, but I work for some - you know, there's no other word for it - stupid people.
We have some pretty hard-and-fast rules for how we do things. We have to. Mainly because we have to keep everything on equal footing for everyone.

Make sense?

Yay. You guys don't even know what I do and it works for you. The people who DO the same things I do can't seem to wrap their brains around this very basic concept.

At any rate, AM scheduled an "event" for one of our part-time staff. Now this part-timer, who we'll call...um.. Marsha, wanted us to create something special for her group because she works here. *Please note, she is probably the mosted hated person around here, barring me.

When Marsha came to me about the 'plan', I told her no. What she wanted to wasn't within any kind of parameters of things that we offered, so there was no way we could get behind it. I would have said the same to any group. So she went to AM, who told her no, as well. However, she's aware that if you hound and pester the shit out of AM, he'll do whatever you want him to. She manipulated the situation and got around all of us. Well, AM knew the proverbial poo would hit the spinning blades if it got out that he'd gone ahead with Marsha's plan, so didn't tell anyone.

Welcome to Day 8 of me trying to be calm, cool and collected.

When the "Big Boss" of the place calls your desk and demands an explanation for something that you have NOOO idea about, most people would freak out, throw someone else under the bus, or not answer the phone in the first place. * I *, however, quickly turn into a seething ball of scream-y, obscenity-hurling fury.

Luckily, I kept that particular beast under wraps until the call was over.

One of the big lessons I'm trying to learn this year is to let go of everything. I can't be the one to continually fix problems. I'm struggling with this one. My job for so long, in most aspects of my life has been to 'fix' things. It's why any of The Sisters call me when they're fighting with the other ones. It's why M calls when she's pissed at one of The Sisters. It's why I'm the one the 'BB' calls when things have gone ass-over-teakettle around the office.

That's what I did. I simply stated what I knew to be true:

* I * had done what I was supposed to and told Marsha that we would not be able to do what she was asking for.

* She * (being Marsha) will never take 'no' for an answer [example: she filled in after someone was let go. It was super helpful even if she was making us all miserable. We ended up hiring someone else for the job and Marsha sent us a nasty certified letter explaining how she felt she'd essentially been shafted because we didn't hire HER for the job. For the record - she didn't APPLY for the job. She just assumed we'd give it to her and lobbied the BB's to have us fire the other person and give her the position. Yeah.]

I then stated I knew nothing else that had transpired.

Which, at the time was true. However, about an hour later, R came to me with a list of things that AM had asked her to do and Marsha was on the list.

THAT'S how I found out the rest.

Now, being the drama-free girl I am, instead of trying to circumvent all the issues and telling AM that he was about to be clobbered, I simply sat back and stayed uninvolved.

I may or may not have created a new stomach ulcer with this.

I may or may not need to change this blog to "How Dramatic Can My Life Be In One Year?".

For now, I'm going to sit here, listen to some fantastic music and eat these jellybeans.
Except the buttered popcorn ones. Who the HELL thought THAT was a good idea?

Gross.

Day 4, 5, 6 & 7 / 365

2010-04-27T10:36:00.000-05:00

Damn.

It's nothing really dramatic - I've just been sick as hell. Like, laying in the recliner too tired to push the button on the remote and watching "Trapper John, MD" sick. NOT that I have anything against Trapper John, but it's not what I normally would have chosen to watch. It's my allergies. Always starts out as a sniffle and - NOT BEING DRAMATIC - turns into something like pneumonia.

However, I know that today will turn out to contain a ridiculous amount of malarkey, so sit tight and

watch this space!

love!

Day 3/365

2010-04-22T08:31:00.000-05:00

Oooh! 1/121 th of the way there!

I can't even begin to tell you about the hullabaloo there was when The Sisters and I were discussing Mother's Day yesterday.
The plan is to all meet at the grocery store in town to pick up supplies for deli-style subs, come close to being arrested (this is SOOO not an exaggeration. It happens anytime we all get together. The cops are inevetiably invited to come and speak with us at some point!) then go to M's house to eat and MST2k a movie to death. Mainly because it annoys the shit out of our mother. We've even gotten our little brother to start doing it. M swears she hasn't seen a movie in its entirety since I was born.

At any rate, a fight broke out because S3 claimed S2 was not pulling her weight where the SOTB was coming in.

SOTB? Splitting Of The Bill. Yeah - someone has to get their panties pretty well bunched anytime there is a pot to contribute to. You should see it when we "go in together" on a gift. God forbid it doesn't come out even to the penny because blood will spill.

Now, S3 works for me part-time as my assistant.
Yes. I *am* that important.
(In all seriousness, she had left a job about the time I needed someone to do shit for me, so I hired her. She works for a pittance - because that's all I can afford - and it only takes up a couple of hours of her day.)
S1 works in a pharmacy call center making decent enough money - her car hasn't been repossesed - yet - and she makes her rent on time - as far as we know.
S2 works for a major corporation and she and her hubster make mad scrilla.
Even *I* make a lot less money.

Well, S3 texted me in the middle of the 4-way IM war to bitch about S2. Since I'm living drama-free, I told her she was going to have to take it up with S2 all on her own.

I have evidently started the blood feud that will overshadow the Hatfields and McCoys.

All over five dollars. Five bucks. That's it. A Lincoln. Five Washingtons.

S2 is pissed that she was called cheap
S1 is pissed because she never realized that S2 always seems to come out ahead during SOTB.
S3 is pissed because I didn't take her side.

Should be fun to see how this plays out.

Today!

2010-04-21T14:23:00.000-05:00

1960 - Dick Clark testified before a congressional committee investigating payola. He admitted that he had a financial interest in 27 percent of the records he played on his show in a period of 28 months.

1961 - The Beatles debuted at the Cavern Club in Liverpool, England.

1963 - The Beatles and the Rolling Stones met for the first time at the Crawdaddy Club in Richmond, England. The Rolling Stones opened show.

1965 - The Beach Boys appeared on ABC-TV's "Shindig!" and performed "Do You Wanna Dance?"

1969 - Janis Joplin and the Kozmic Blues Band played at London's Royal Albert Hall.

1970 - Elton John made his solo concert debut when he opened for T. Rex in London.

1977 - "Annie" opened on Broadway.

1977 - Natalie Cole and John Denver were guests on Frank Sinatra's ABC-TV special "Sinatra & Friends".

1995 - MTV Asia re-launched its Mandarin-language channel.

1999 - Brooks & Dunn debuted their video "South of Santa Fe" while country.com simultaneously streamed the video. It was the first time that a country video debuted simultaneously on TV and the Internet.

2003 - It was reported that Evel Knievel had signed over exclusive rights to allow the production of "Evel Knievel: The Rock Opera."

Day 2 / 365

2010-04-21T08:32:00.000-05:00

So K came in last night to let H and I know that she was getting a crap grade in her math class. There was MUCH carrying on about how she was doing her best, blah, blah, blah until I pointed out that most nights, she spends about ten minutes on homework and the remaining time on her hair. A serious priss is K. When we asked to see her grades, she told us that she had left the report in her math book.

Which was at school - natch.

As the conversation goes on, we find that if she HAD brought it home and had us sign it, it would have been worth 2 homework grades worth of extra credit. Her reaction?

"Oh well."

Now, in the Cast of Characters, H is listed as being "almost completely drama-free".

This was not one of those times. Whilst your faithful blogger was sitting quietly, he went on a rant to end all rants. Even K was shocked. I believe that at one point, he claimed that this was a mistake on par with carpet-bombing an orphanage. Well, maybe not, but it was something else.
At any rate, he sent K to her room and told her to do something constructive with her time.
I'm fairly certain she just sulked.

Normally, I would be the one railing against her scholastic disinterest, but this time, it was all H.

go figure.

Cast of characters

2010-04-20T14:59:00.000-05:00

Looking to see who's who? See if the list below helps:

In house:
(H) Hubby - that's pretty self explanatory, huh? Also, fairly drama-free. Love!
(K) Kiddo - teenaged girl. Nothing but drama. And lots of it! She has miscellaneous friends who will make periodic appearances.

Family: (get comfy - this could take awhile)
Parents:
(M) Mom - martyr, sadist and reigning Drama Queen
(D) Dad - this will generally refer to my mother's husband who is my step-dad.
(RD) Real Dad - fairly infrequent appearances.
(MIL) Mother In Law - fairly awesome, but overly dramatic, particularly anytime K is concerned.
(FIL) Father In Law - this is where H gets his total lack of drama. FIL is a lot more likely to just laugh something off. Every once in awhile he'll get crazy, but not often.

The Sisters:
S1 - the most dramatic person I have ever known in my life. She's younger than I by a couple of years, but only chronologically. Mentally, we're talking ninth grade.
S2 - my best friend. Several years younger than I, but much more adult than S1. Wicked smart, unbelievable sense of humor that will make you bleed, and limited amount of drama. Most of her drama stems from her crazy-ass friends.
S3 - the youngest. Very drama-prone, but trying to do better.

There are also brothers and sisters in-law, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and not-really family 'family' members.

And holy damn! I almost forgot my brothers.
There are 2 -
B1 - married, lots of kids, lives out of state, rarely seen or discussed.
B2 - same age as K. Good kid, lots of hair.

Friends:
(I) - probably my very favorite person on the planet. He's been my buddy for years and I couldn't do without his sorry Mormon ass. No longer has the world's most dramatic and angering job. Yay!
(R) - does work with me, but she's my friend more than that, so she gets listed here. She was, in a roundabout way responsible for this little foray into failure.
(F) - grad student extraordinaire! Simply brilliant but ridiculously dramatic.
(J) - another doll! Canadian, yes, but we don't hold that against him.
(C) - longest running friendship I've ever had. Also the most dramatic. Geez.

Work:
(BL) Boss-lady - as of the beginning of the experiment, she has not started work with us. I've met her a few times, and I can see where some serious drama may erupt, but she seems... cool.
(AM) Assistant-Man - the most dramatic man I know. He's more like a girl than most girls I know.
(R) Reception - fantastic girl, much drama
The Coworkers:
C1 - fairly laid-back guy. Almost drama free
C2 - idiot good-for-nothing. So much drama it makes my head hurt. Everything is a major production and most of that is based on the myriad lies she likes to tell.
C3 - randomly occurring. Due to job description, rarely around.Much drama. Sweet, though.

As this progresses, I'll add to the list. However, this would be enough to make anyone crazy.

Day 1 / 365

2010-04-20T13:23:00.000-05:00

Today is April the 20th, 2010.

The first day of my drama-free life.

oh dear god.

what have I started?

Happy DAY!

2010-04-20T10:33:00.000-05:00

If you say 4-20 420 times in a mirror at 4:20 on 4/20, Bob Marley will appear and force feed you pot brownies.

Where's my mirror??

Today being what it is - I feel a little love comin' on...

Bob Marley - "Three Little Birds"

Yeah, I know it's sterotypical, but I love this song and I love everyone and everything...

know why?

Cause it's all gonna be alright.

I'm around

2010-04-19T15:33:00.000-05:00

just sulking and being kinda pissy.
Not good company for anyone.

Fingers crossed I'll be better tomorrow.

Meanwhile:
The Hollies - "Dear Eloise"

no particular reason. just today's song.

its stuck in my head.

Still working on it...

2010-04-16T07:14:00.000-05:00

I'm still not happy with the layout around here.
Ugh.

Anyway -
to continue on with our "music around the world" theme:

This group came up on some random web site that I was looking at. It seems like it was a major site, too. I just can't remember where. At any rate, they're from South Africa, and honestly, I've listened to the entire album a few times over the last few days and have thoroughly enjoyed it all.

But, this song seems to capture more of my mood recently.

Civil Twilight - "Human"

Give it a listen. Give me thoughts.

love!

Much better

2010-04-15T09:55:00.000-05:00

After dealing with the unbearable pain for the last two days, I went to the doctor. You guys will not beleive what the problem was.
I had a nerve caught in my pelvic bone.

Yeah.

Somehow - and I think I know, but we won't get into it here - my pelvis rotated out of alignment and caught a nerve. Every time I moved, the nerve was being crushed. The doctor got my pelvis aligned and then manipulated my back nine ways to Sunday and told me to go home and sleep it off. He also told me that I won't be able to do one of the things that I love to do for awhile, but to be honest, I was so grateful to not hurt as bad that I just nodded and went home. I woke up this morning, bounded out of the bed and felt great! Unfortunately, that nerve is still pretty raw and inflamed, so I have to sit still for long periods at a time. Luckily, I have plenty to do here at my desk.

On with the music:

On Tuesday, I introduced you to a band from France that j'adore. Today, let's do Germany, shall we? I found these guys last summer while trying to figure out if I wanted to learn German. Turns out that I had zero interest in learning, but a LOT of interest in the music scene IN Germany.
Go figure.

Anyhoo - these guys are fantastic.

Donots - "Break My Stride"

The song's been rolling around my brain for the last couple of days based on the realization that a.) I'm an idiot and b.) I'm better than that. It's a flawed calculation, I'm aware.
But!! At least I'm aware. :)

love !

Misery and Joy

2010-04-13T08:14:00.002-05:00

Misery first:
I have no idea what I've done to myself. Yesterday, I seemed to be okay. Worked, talked to you guys, went to the gym, went home, worked on some writing projects, went to bed. When I woke up this morning, everything from my waist down was in screaming agony. I have no idea what's caused it either. Yesterday was upper body at the gym, so it's not like I really did anything to my poor lower half. It's like someone skewered me at my tailbone. Completely unreasonable pain. And I HAVE to be at work today, and can't really self-medicate like I would if I was home. And do you know, through all of this, I STILL got up at 4:30 and went to the gym?? Yep. I can barely walk - and that's not me just bushing. It's really excrutiating to move at all.
But I still went to the gym. Now, I only did about 30 minutes on the treadmill, but I got there, just the same. This is because I'm a fucking tough bitch and will eat your face. But will do it while wearing pink panties.
We've discussed this.

Now for the JOY!!
TNF (The New Friend) and I were talking yesterday and I found out that for once, I was aware of a band that he'd never heard of!! This is a first. And so, because they are teh shit:

Naive New Beaters - "Dual Income No Kids"

Great group from France. I've been completely smitten for a couple of months now, and " D.I.N.K." is flawless!! Seriously - give it a listen. I promise you'll like it. If you don't, well - tell me why and I'll find something else for you. Except YOU, Jake m'love. You still have dancing japanese girls to 'whelm' you.

Enjoy!!

new

2010-04-13T06:58:00.000-05:00

You can see that I changed the layout again. I really wish I could find something and just stick with it for awhile, but NO-oooo. I have to re-arrange and update.

Thoughts?

Return of the mellow

2010-04-12T08:52:00.001-05:00

I feel lovely. I had a wonderful weekend with my darling Kat and even though it's Monday morning and I'm at work and have more shit to do than I care to think about, I'm completely calm and happy.

It's amazing.

Well, I won't bore you with details, but we were in Mexico, we drank continually, swam in water that was too cold to swim in, had dinner with some friends - you want to make the locals happy? if they invite you to their house for dinner - GO! They'll be pleased and you'll eat like you never have! I have a friend there who's wife is from Columbia and cooks like nobody's business. Kat and I talked about it later and realized that, since neither of speak enough spanish and didn't really bother to ask, we had no idea what we were eating! But it was amazing. I don't care if it was chihuahua, it.was.delicious!! Anyway - we hung out at Mamitas beach - which is always enlightening, did some shopping, drank more, hung out in the hotel room watching mexican soap operas and on Saturday night, we went to Karamba.
I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about Karamba, except to say that it was amazing and my ego was stroked nine ways to Sunday.
Now, because it makes me think of the lovely people I met that night -

The Kinks - "Lola"

I may post pictures later in the week, but don't hold your breath.

Also - Jake - you would have had MUCH fun with us! You come on down sometime!

UPDATE:

Kat just sent me this:

Those be my toes!

Escape!

2010-04-08T11:27:00.000-05:00

Today is my Friday. Tomorrow I will get on a plane and fly south. I will spend three days drunk and on the beach. I wish I could bring you all with me. I think we'd have a hell of a time!

I'll bet we'd get up to shenanigans, too.

Oh well.
Miss me while I'm gone!

Jimmy Buffett - Mexico

¡Ámele!

Popping in

2010-04-06T13:15:00.000-05:00

I have more shit to do today than I have time. I really wanted to sit and just talk to you guys. I feel like we're not connecting anymore.

Ugh.

Losing my mind talking to my interwebians. Great!

Anyway - just a quick one today. Great song, old band -

The Outfield - "Voices of Babylon"

Mondays suck

2010-04-05T09:17:00.000-05:00

unless you're off from work, which I am not.

It's unbearably busy here. However, I have a nice 4-day weekend coming up that is all about a trip to a beach in Mexico with my girl Kat!

Meanwhile -
for today's selection, I've gone back awhile, but not too far. Hope you enjoy!

The White Stripes - "Do"

I love Jack and his creepy-ass self. Has to do with that guitar, probably.

Just for grins...

2010-04-01T15:11:00.000-05:00

and because the song makes me smile...

Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass - "Spanish Flea"

You definitely want to watch the video -

ALSO!! Terry Border from Bent Objects, one of my all time favorite sites, came by here yesterday to say nice things to me!!
TO ME!!

S'good to be the queen...

Story Time

2010-03-31T10:46:00.000-05:00

I've mentioned that Otter is getting married, yes?
Have I mentioned (here) that I absolutely LOATHE his intended?

I do.

He knows this. She does, too, I'm sure.

It's not that I don't like her, per se. It's just that she is SOOO not right for him. and before you go getting the wrong idea - I'm not jealous. I have been on his ass to get re-married since he got a divorce several years ago. If it was the right girl, I'd throw a party every weekend and stop harassing him about making the second bigest mistake of his life.

Why I don't like the soon-to-be Mrs. Otter (hereafter referred to as "The Dolt" or TD):
She's not too bright. And by 'not too bright' I mean 'dumb as an old post'.
She has no sense of the here-and-now beyond the Kardashians or American Idol.
She's pious beyond all reasonableness. If someone says "American Idol is stupid", she replies with "only God can judge something like that."
She refuses to have anything to do with any of Otter's friends, and any time he wants to go out with them, she runs home to mommy and pouts for two days.

Those last two are really killing me.

ANYWAY!
Otter asked me to sing at his wedding. I refused since I won't actually be there. I'm a conscientious objector. Then he had TD call and beg me. I don't know WHY he thought that particular gambit would pay off...
Then, he pulled out the big guns.
Several years ago, when another friend got married, Otter came as my "date" and was there to hear me sing with my darling Dog. Dog and I tend to get drunk in bars and belt out random tear-in-my-beer type ditties. Periodically, though, we'll sober up (enough) to sing for people we love.
Well, Otter emailed Dog, gave him some song and dance about how much it would mean to him if I was not only AT the wedding, but a part of it, blah, blah, blah - and now two of the men I absolutely adore are on me to sing at an event I have grave misgivings about.

What's a girl to do?

Sing, of course. I can't keep it up.

What am I being asked to sing, you might ask...

Here it is:

Michael Buble - "Everything"

Someone send liquor.

Lots of it.

Slacker is slackering.

2010-03-30T14:56:00.001-05:00

Sorry, guys- it's been busy.
And I am fussy. It's probably PMS, but who knows -
I have to tell you all a story about Otter and Dog tomorrow and how they convinced me to do something I had put my foot down about NOT doing.

What we do for the men we love, no?

Ugh.

Anyway - because I love the word flugerhorn :

Chuck Mangione - "Feels So Good"

do-do-do-doooooo

love you!

Sooo. Tiiiired.

2010-03-22T12:54:00.000-05:00

Folks, I am literally falling asleep at my desk. Not even my leftover pizza is working to revive me.

Alright - so here's your music:
it's what's playing on my MP3 right now -

Kalambya Sisters - Mbie Nuke

I don't have the mental capacity to tell you anything else.
Sorry kids. Better tomorrow, I hope!!

love!

so close...

2010-03-19T10:51:00.000-05:00

I keep getting excited because it's Friday.

Unfortunately, I will be at work over the weekend, too. I may get some time off in about three weeks, but no one's making promises.

However!
Otter has asked to take me to dinner tonight to discuss his upcoming nuptials. So I get a good meal and a chance to really bitch at someone! YAY!

I also have the following things going for me today:

my hair looks great - no idea why.
I don't have to work out again tonight.
The rain, she is a-comin'. And my gardens could use it.
I'm getting off work a little early and seeing a dear friend for a little while.
I bought 14 pairs of new guages in my permanent size for less than seventy-five dollars. 14 PAIRS! For those of you not in the know, general pricing on these things runs between 10 and 35 dollars a pair. I spent about five-and-a-half. Woot! These are nice ones, too.
I have about ten hours of crap television sitting on my DVR and I plan to watch all of it this weekend.

Alright - so, for those of you who could give two shits about my goings-on:

Paul Van Dyk ft. Saint Etienne - "Tell Me Why (The Riddle)"

Just a side note here - Paul looks EXACTLY like one of my exes. As a matter of fact, it's another of the exes that my sister dated / moved in with / got screwed over by. hee hee.
No, I'm not vindictive.
Why do you ask?

Exhausted

2010-03-18T07:37:00.000-05:00

Those of you who know me and know where I work - you know what was going on around here yesterday. I'm not going to lie - I was in the thick of it and it was amazing and awful and something else. I can't talk today and I can barely move my arms and legs. Add to that all of my usual misery and the same old heartbreak and misery I've been carrying around -
I'm on the brink of total physical and emotional collapse.

Stay tuned, readers to see how this one goes...

While you wait - something a little bit different for me - I don't usually go for the country / top40 crossover types, but this one...
it sang to me.

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now.

The video isn't great, but the ending is. However, to understand the ending, you've got to stomach the rest of it.

Enjoy.

All in the science

2010-03-16T10:15:00.000-05:00

So - I know you guys all know that olfactory stimulus is the biggest memory trigger, right? For instance, every time I smell hot tar, I remember that when I was five, I put my hands on creosote-treated timbers and had to be bathed in bleach for an hour. I also think of Six Flags.
There are thousands of studies done on olfactory memory. There are even some studies that are trying to show that smells can help inhibit the development of brain degenerative diseases such as Alzheimer's and dementia. How about that? I love science.

Such a nerd.

Today, however, I want to talk about musical memory. Let's try a little experiment to see how many of you are the same kind of crazy as I.
Relax.
Clear your mind.
On three, think of a person you've known in your past - particularly one you've been close to.
ready?
1
...
2
...
3

What song did you think of?
No. Seriously!

Every person in my life has a song. And I don't just mean exes and "our song(s)". Sisters, friends, cousins. Like my dad - every time I think of him, I think of ZZ Top's "Cheap Sunglasses"
Yep.

Alright - all of that to go back to this:

When I got up this morning, I had a song running through my head that is distinct to an ex. It wasn't "Our Song" by any stretch of the imagination. That was some nonsense by Faith No More. No, it was the one song we danced to at my senior prom. We had decided to go togther as friends, and that six-foot idiot spent the entire evening chasing his ex-girlfriend. Ugh.
However, when this song came on, he managed to find me on the floor and cut in so that he could, as he said, "always remember you and this song".

I could've killed him.

I did dance with him, and it was lovely, and now, of course, I will always remember HIM for this song.

I would much rather have hated him.

So, for my ex, and bad proms everywhere:

Chris DeBurgh - "Lady In Red"

the video is one of those fan-made ones, but the audio is really good.

enjoy!!

Quickie

2010-03-15T13:37:00.000-05:00

I am hip-deep in applications. I have to schedule more than 150 interviews for three days. I'm not holding my breath.

But I didn't want to leave you out today.

So - here's what's playing on XO's brain-waves:

White Town - Your Woman

Enjoy.

FRIDAY!

2010-03-12T13:36:00.000-06:00

I'm not going to lie. It's Friday, and I'm pleased about it, but it's been a shit day. I had to go in to work at an unreasonable hour this morning and I only had to be there for a couple of hours. Before you say anything about that - it's a bit of a drive to get to work. If I'm not putting in a good four or five hours, it's almost not worth me making the trip. Usually, I can do a lot of that stuff from the house, but not this week. Ugh.

I went to work out - which, to be quite honest, is the best part of most days, and half way through my hour, work called AGAIN with some emergency that evidently could not be solved by anyone else.

Went back to work.

Realized that I work with a bunch of idiots.

Got home.

Got terrible emails from two people, one nice one from someone else, and absolutely nothing from someone I was actually looking forward to hearing from.
Such is life.

Now I'm faced with a weekend of working from the house, two angry boys and less energy or give-a-shit-ness than I need.

What will I do?
Grin and bear it. It's what I do.

Tony Bennett - Smile

Same rules still apply as before - little to absolutely none whatsoever posting on the weekends.

Virtual love...

2010-03-11T09:03:00.001-06:00

I sat and watched this video for about an hour this morning. Let me tell you why -

1. I love Gorillaz. love.love.love. Not familiar? Go here. 2D is my favorite. For the record - I also love Mos Def - and that's him on this collaboration.

2. I love Bruce Willis, although he is
a. driving an el camino and
b. looking a little ... strange ... there at the end

3. That's a camaro. The first car I ever street raced in was a 69 Camaro. My heart has belonged to the curves of Camaros ever since.

4. High speed car chases get me gooey every.single.time.

5. The main point - the music is smashing.

This whole album is great, but I think this one reigns as my favorite. Of course, my favorites change with my mood, so check back later. I may have gone with something else.

Alright - I have nothing actually intelligent to add, so here you go:

Gorillaz - Stylo

Enjoy!

Poe...

2010-03-10T15:11:00.000-06:00

I re-read "The Raven" (Read it here.) again for the nth time today, and I came across a line that never really caught at me before now.

"Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"

Isn't that how we feel about exes? Isn't that an apt request? Why else does our heart break except for they've pierced it - also explains the continual ache that remains. Every time they show up in our lives, it's going to be awkward and painful and... disturbing.
Wouldn't it also be great if they just disappeared? Wouldn't that make getting over someone that much easier? You don't have to see them, don't have to try to pretend like there's nothing in the world wrong with you, even though it kills you to know that you didn't really matter that much to begin with. Especially when every time they come around they pretend like nothing happened.

Ugh.

Alright - so Uncle Edgar hit another one on the head. I hate when he does that. And I also hate that I got on a little tangent there for no apparent reason.

Alright - so a lesson en francais for everyone today.
Er... a song in french, anyway!

Marie Chantal Toupin - Tout Effacer

She always makes me think of Bonnie Tyler.
Enjoy!

Still building...

2010-03-10T09:00:00.001-06:00

It's going to be awhile before I get this place looking like I want it to. If you were here yesterday, you'll see I've already made a lot of changes. It will probably be something else tomorrow.

Meanwhile - I love this song.

The Script - Breakeven.

Enjoy!!

Resuming

2010-03-09T09:25:00.001-06:00

See?

I couldn't stay away.
Actually, someone asked me very sweetly to put the thing back up and in it's original shape.

While I'm happy to get it back up - because, to be quite honest, I missed it - I'm going to be working on changing layouts and stuff. I have IDEAS!!

Also, no more Live Wednesday or Soundtrack Tuesday. If I come across something that I think you should hear live, I'll just post it as a live issue. Same with Soundtracks.
If you've got other ideas, let me know!

Meanwhile - because it's true, and you all know it:

Joan Jett - Bad Reputation

Soft Day

2010-01-22T08:37:00.000-06:00

I don't usually make resolutions at the new year. It just seems like a waste. I always used to say things like 'I'm going to lose weight' or 'I'm going to quit drinking' (you all know how unlikely THAT one is) or 'I'm going to be nicer'.
I quit doing things like that some time ago. However, I did make a deal with myself that I would try to be a 'softer' person. Meaning that I'm trying not to be so harsh or loud or angry all the time. That being the case, I've tried to adjust my music accordingly. This doesn't mean that I deleted Killswitch Engage from my playlists or that Cannibal Corpse won't be screaming around my ears. Just that I'm trying to intersperse some less...aggressive selections in there.

I have to say - I had to go back and check to make sure I hadn't used this song somewhere previously. It's one of my favorite songs and the video is ... lovely.

Patrick Watson - "The Great Escape"

Enjoy!

Settled

2010-01-20T11:43:00.000-06:00

Song of the Day:

James Morrison - "This Boy"

It's nice to be able to quiet the brain. I won't bore you with the details on how I got it to shut the hell up - just enjoy the music.

Love.

*Please note - the IT department is screwing around with our web settings. I cannot verify the link right now, but it looks good. If not, someone please let me know!!

Ricochet

2010-01-20T09:33:00.001-06:00

I'm suffering from some sort of musical ADD today. I have blips of songs just SCREAMING through my head.
Like:
Fallout Boy - "Thanks for the Memories"
"He tastes like you only sweeter"

Plain White Tees - "What If"
"what if I die tomorrow..."

Elvis Presley - "A Little Less Conversation"
"a little more bite and a little less bark"

Gerry Rafferty - "Right Down The Line" (yes, Ian - I know I sent this on Saturday, but it won't go away.)
"you've been as constant as the northern star"

Elton John - "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" *this will serve as your Live Wednesday helping.
"before you and me run to the place in our hearts where we hide"

Poco - "Crazy Love" **this video is beautiful. so is the song. it's the one clamoring the loudest right now.
"I'll never be imprisoned by a faded memory"

the list just keeps going. I haven't settled on one song all damn morning. Every time I hit one, I try and stay with it, but I never get more than one or two verses in before the brain splits off onto one of the others. And really, I can't identify any ONE thing that makes them cohesive. A couple of them I can blame on one person, a couple of others someone else, I have NO clue where the Elvis one is coming from.
This is making today's post a litte complicated. Generally, there is one song that kind of "defines" my day. Or at least my mood. Maybe something will happen later to calm me down.
Until then, I'm not going to be able to lay out any kind of coherent post.

ugh.

sorry.

Where I am most of the time...

2010-01-18T08:07:00.002-06:00

Please note - it only goes to 3.

Dear Liverpool FC:

2010-01-15T09:32:00.001-06:00

You know, you shouldn't be surprised to hear from me. Yes, I'm an American. Yes, I'm a woman. However, that does not mean that I don't follow football overseas. (I do.) It does not mean that I don't pay attention to what's going on with your owners, managers, players or fans. (I do.) It CERTAINLY doesn't mean that I don't have a loyalty to Liverpool.
I most assuredly do.
Those of you who know me might be surprised by this.
Those of you who REALLY know me aren't surprised at all.

There is a correlation between sports where I am and sports where YOU are.
What might that correlation be?

Could be passion.
We're pretty passionate about things over here. We can't hold a candle to the sheer energy you all have for your clubs, but still...

Could be loyalty.
We're loyal. I've been a rock-solid fan of my teams (and yours) since approximately birth. Even when we can't win a coin toss, I've backed my guys.

Could be embarassment.
Oh yeah - our folks are ALWAYS fucking around and embarassing their respective clubs, to the chagrin of the true-blue fans.

But what I was actually speaking to was... owners.
Please know - we understand. All of us. We hate the owners, too.
Especially your... person.
We hate him here, too.

In an effort to help national relations so that you don't think we're ALL a bunch of fucktards, I am very proud to provide the following:

Liverpool FC Fans - "You'll Never Walk Alone"

For those of you unfamiliar with the song, you can listen HERE